


GLASS HOUSE

by DeanandCas



Category: Dollhouse, Supernatural
Genre: Eventual Happy Ending, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Sex, Supernatural - AU/Dollhouse Crossover
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-22
Updated: 2017-09-29
Packaged: 2019-01-04 04:05:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 28
Words: 40,949
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12161187
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeanandCas/pseuds/DeanandCas
Summary: Dean is a retired race driver millionaire who satisfies his fantasies using the Dollhouse Actives managed by Josie Sands.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * A translation of [Casa de Vidro](https://archiveofourown.org/works/3177502) by [DeanandCas](https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeanandCas/pseuds/DeanandCas). 



> DOLLHOUSE is a US TV series, 2009/2010, created by Joss Whedon. One of the protagonists, the FBI agent Paul Ballard is our well known actor Tahmoh Panikett (who played the angel Gadreel in the ninth season of SPN). Dollhouse is an establishment where the rich can realize their fantasies, using "dolls" that can be "programmed" to execute anything through technological means - they can have any type of knowledge, can be experts in any subject, have the most varied abilities, sexual included. "Actives" are volunteers on five-year contracts - during this time, their original minds are stored on drives and they embody any fantasy from those who can afford hiring them. They give up control of their mind and body for financial security at the end of the contract, in addition to solving psychological/social problems. While they are without any "imprint" (programmed personality) they behave apathetically, have no will of their own, are like "blank canvases", puppets. However, some Actives retain something of their individuality, albeit unconsciously and against what technology expects.
> 
> The "Rape/Non-Con" warning is justified by the fact that Actives, despite the contract they sign, can't be considered fully aware of their actions and as will be seen in the story, Castiel has no power over such decisions .  
> ['Dollhouse' explained in under three minutes](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c0MhT7H-j1U&t=2s)

"More tea, Mr. Winchester? "

"No, thank you, Ms. Sands. I'd like to look at your Actives list again, if it’s possible. "

"Sure, just a moment."

The beautiful redhead, with her perfect teeth exposed between lips of a bright red, walked to her desk and picked up a tablet that lay there. She handed it to the client, who in a few seconds was already avidly flipping through the album with the Actives' photos.

His eyes recognized several of them, Dean Winchester being a relatively frequent customer. His fame and fortune had been built in the motorsport business. Now retired from racing, his life consisted of hobbies in which he could spend the fortune he had.

He lived in a spectacular mansion. He had an incredible collection of vintage cars, which Dean had restored one by one in their tiniest details, bringing them to the perfection of the day they left the factory.

While he had been racing his life was full of travel, practices, parties and many fast relationships. Anyone, man or woman, who attracted him enough could live a few torrid days with him, to be discreetly dismissed afterwards, without remorse. He didn’t cling to anyone in romantic terms. He didn’t want to lose his freedom. At least that was what he said to everyone and especially to himself.

Now that he had more free time, he had deepened his activities of restoring his objects of desire, increasingly rare cars. So, with much less time spent traveling the world, he had been a bit addicted to the delights of the Dollhouse. He had hired the services of the best Actives in the house, becoming a very valued customer. Each time he tried a different fantasy. But there was one fantasy... he'd never allowed himself: his Actives should never act as they were in love with him. No, that would be... going too far.

While innumerable clients hired the Actives of the house to live their romantic fantasies, Dean only realized his sexual ones. He didn’t want complications, he said. But inwardly, unconsciously... he equally feared and ardently longed for a romantic fantasy - to find in someone the definitive companionship of his life, as his mother had been to his father. Exactly how Sammy had found his soul mate in Jessica.

Today he felt a little bored. Lots of faces. They were attractive, and Dean had had ‘appointments’ with almost all of them. Reaching the last page of the catalog, however, his eyes fell on an unknown face.

He was not very young, he must have been almost in his forties, and that alone was new to Dean. Most of the Actives he had already hired were in their twenties. This man, more mature, should be a few years older than himself. His face was intriguing. It was not uncommon, he thought, but something in it... had an unexpected impact on the former pilot. It was a handsome face. But it was the eyes that caught his attention. Deep blue, piercing eyes while all the other Actives in the catalog looked apathetic. His jaw, though shaven, had a dark shadow, emphasizing the angles of his face. His hair was dark and the photographer must have forgotten to ask him to comb it before the picture was taken... It looked like he had just rolled out of bed after hot sex.

Dean couldn’t take his eyes off the photo. He touched the surface of the device and a sequence of other photos of the man appeared. Initially, large photos of his face, front and profile, smiling and serious. Then, full body images in several outfits and finally, naked. From all the possible angles. He was there exposed as an object for sale. Dean had looked at these albums so many times and had never felt anything like that: that the subject of the photographs had some dignity, to the point that he felt embarrassed to see him advertised as a ‘product’, a thing.

He swallowed at the sudden revelation. Those Actives... they were people. Of course, he knew they were people who volunteered for it. They had contracts of five years and that at the end of this period they would have solved their eventual problems and would leave of there with a comfortable stipend that would allow them to live without worries.

But something in that face had made him look to those people in a different light. What would have led that man to this? What was the reason why he had abdicated a substantial portion of his existence to become the puppet who would perform the fantasies of some bored rich people?

"I don’t remember seeing this one before, Ms. Sands ... Is he new?"

The woman approached him, her high heels clicking on the marble floor. She sat down beside him and looked at the photo. Her face broke into a smile. A too knowing smile so Dean couldn’t appreciate it.

"Hmm, _Angel_. He came from the New York branch. As you know, we sometimes need to renew our Actives. He arrived this week. Would you like to meet him in person, Mr. Winchester? "

Dean felt his chest tighten. He wanted to meet the man and at the same time he wanted to pretend never to have seen that attractive face. His mind and body were in a silent battle, and at last the body won:

"Yes, Ms. Sands. I'd like to meet him, please. "

He was led to the glass elevator, which descended to take them to the common area of the Actives. It was a large and, although underground, very well lit area, adorned with many plants, fountains and pools. It was like a luxury spa, with the beautiful people receiving all sorts of aesthetic and relaxation treatments, walking around in skimpy outfits.

From the elevated position on a richly furnished mezzanine, Dean could see most of the Actives, but not the man he was looking for.

Josie Sands pointed a long and red fingernail in the direction of an area that looked like a garden, a small lawn surrounded by flowers, where a pretty leafy tree grew in the center. Beneath it was Angel, sitting in meditative posture. He was wearing a dark blue shirt and shorts. His skin was lightly tanned and his hair was just like the picture. His face was relaxed, his eyes closed. Suddenly, as if conscious of being watched, he opened his eyes and turned his head, meeting Dean's gaze.

Those eyes...

Dean looked away and suddenly turning to Josie, said in a hoarse voice:

"Thank you for bringing me here, but I believe I'm going to need Tango services again this time." He pointed to the sculptural, dark-haired young woman who was exercising on the far side. "I'd like to relive the DW-156 fantasy, please."

"As you wish, Mr. Winchester. Let's go back to the office to set the details. "

Without turning around, Dean followed the Dollhouse manager to the elevator. But as it went up, he noticed that a pair of extremely blue eyes followed him.

 


	2. Chapter 2

Pamela Barnes disembarked from the van in front of the cast iron gate precisely at the time she was expected.

In her tight jeans, high heeled boots and a white tank top, she walked over to the intercom, holding the black leather jacket over her shoulder.

In a few moments the gate opened and a golf cart came and picked her up. No one who came on foot had to walk to the door of the house. The garden was too big for that, anyway, and Dean liked to be kind to the Actives when they arrived in inconspicuous dark-colored vans.

The beautiful woman climbed into the small vehicle, as if it were a usual thing. She turned her face to the side to observe the magnificent lawn that stretched around her.

“Mr. Winchester is waiting at the pool, Miss Barnes" said the man who drove the cart.

A smile crossed the lips of the dark-haired woman. She loved the sun. She loved to swim and be admired as she walked by the pool. Too bad she didn’t bring a swimsuit...

Dean was stretched out in a lounger, his body under the shadow of an umbrella, while sipping lazy sips from a beer. He didn’t move as he watched the approach of his ‘guest’.

As soon as the cart stopped, he got up and went to find the young lady with a sensual smile and beautiful curves. They hugged and Pamela whispered something in the millionaire's ear, who laughed and then dismissed the man.

In a few minutes she had stripped off her clothes and swam happily in the huge pool, Dean still sitting in the shade, just watching.

He was fully dressed, except for the shoes, which he had discarded upon arrival. He watched, delighted, as the woman rose, naked, over the edge of the pool swiftly and walked up to him, straddling his stretched thighs, covered in faded jeans.

Dean had always enjoyed her company. Pamela was one of the few recurring characters on his Dollhouse resume. The active, ‘Tango’, was a beautiful and sexy young woman and the role she played was an independent, liberal, lively woman. She was always ready to have fun, she had no prejudices about sex and said yes to all of Dean's wishes. If she acted as if she had paranormal powers... it was just a detail that amused Dean. She always tried to predict his future, but that, of course, was a feature that had come unexpectedly in the personality packet he had ordered. He had suggested certain features to the programmer of the house, Ash, but one could only shape the personality to some extent, being the basis a random personality, composed of innocuous behaviors that wouldn’t interfere with the requests of the clients.

Pamela Barnes existed only in Dean’s presence. He had commissioned this program especially, being unique, unlike others, which were public and could be used by anyone with minor adjustments. When the van picked her up at the end of the period, she would receive her 'treatment' and return to the form of Tango, a woman with no personality, a blank canvas where anyone willing to pay the price could paint whatever they wanted.

She had been inspired by a person Dean had known when he was young, but she was much prettier in Tango's skin. Dean always felt young in her presence, always ready to embark on new adventures.

But in spite of everything, that day... The effect was not as potent as he’d hoped. She would act exactly as Dean wished, but he would never ask for what he really wanted. Suddenly he wondered who Tango would be in real life. But the thought had no chance to live, for the young woman began kissing him provocatively.

Before long she began to realize that Dean was not responding exactly as expected. But she was programmed to notice certain subtle differences in his behavior and adjust her performance accordingly. If he was not willing to engage in sexual activity, she would access another of her abilities and entertain him differently.

Standing up and sitting on the edge of the chair, she took one of Dean's hands. He watched, intrigued. She turned his palm up and began to trace the lines with her fingers. She asked for his other hand and looked the same way at the palm, comparing it to the first. His finger ran over the line between the index and the middle finger, moving to the opposite side of the thumb. Then he touched the line that surrounded it, in a curve that went to the wrist.

"Um, I see here that..." she began in her lovely husky voice, "...that your heart line has an interruption in an interesting place, Dean. Love will come into your life in an unexpected way... see how abrupt the lines are cut... But... when it finally comes, it will be it for you. "

"And we will live happily ever after, of course. That lucky person that will enter my life unexpectedly and me. We are going to get married and live in a castle on Fantasy Island... "

"Don’t mock my predictions, Dean! I have certain psychic abilities and they never fail!" She seemed a bit bewildered and it bothered Dean. He'd never noticed that nuance in Pamela's behavior before.

"I'm not laughing at you... I like it when you predict my future. But... I like it much better when... " and he whispered something in her ear that incited a loud laugh. Dean had resolved to go back to his original plans.

Pamela's fingers dropped Dean's hands and went to the button on his pants.

*****

She should have stayed all weekend. But Dean had dismissed her on Sunday morning. He hadn’t enjoyed her stay as muvh as her previous visits. At the moment, having eaten his breakfast alone, he thought about spending the rest of the day working on his newest car.

He didn’t want to think that the unexpected insight he had on the Dollhouse might have influenced his behavior. He preferred to think that he was very focused on the new 'toy' he acquired at a very disputed auction. The car was in an excellent state, but he wanted to overhaul the engine himself, disassembling and reassembling it with his own hands. It was an activity he appreciated, it was a challenge. He thought of calling his brother, inviting him to spend the afternoon with him and helping him with the job, but he remembered that Sam wasn’t in town, being on vacation with his wife.

Feeling more lonely than he wished, he headed for the garage to start working and forget about his problems.

*****

Covered in grease, he got up and looked at the neatly arranged pieces on the workbench. He had just dismantled the engine and cleaned it piece by piece. He had noticed that few parts had to be changed and he had already contacted his regular supplier to have them sent the next morning.

The assembly began, carefully. It was an activity that absorbed him. He enjoyed every moment of it. He felt really at home in his own workshop, surrounded by top of the line equipment, Led Zeppelin playing in the background.

Suddenly he got up from where he was and went to turn up the music. In the absence of anyone to talk to, the music at least softened the feeling of loneliness. He missed Sam, that was all. He hated to feel so needy, but he had to understand that his younger brother was married and needed to spent time with his wife. Even if it took Sam away from him. But it was only natural. Despite this understanding, it didn’t make him feel less lonely.

*****

Lying on his bed, he stared at the ceiling, thinking. The car parts he ordered would arrive early the next day. Maybe he could call his old friend Bobby to come and keep him company. No, no, he had the garage to manage. _He's not a carefree man like me_ , he thought.

Suddenly, the pieces of the puzzle seemed to fit together an... he could see the picture completely.

He sat down, still in the dark, looking for his Ipad on the bedside table. He began to type a list. A long and very detailed list. At the end of it, a marker waited for the last item to be added to the program...

But Dean needed to think a little more before adding it. He would leave it at that for now.


	3. Chapter 3

Ash would receive him only after much insistence. Josie Sands had tried to prevent this from happening in every way. She was always the intermediary between the clients and the chief programmer of her team. It was not standard procedure a meeting like that. But he had received a call directly from Tucson telling her to accept Dean Winchester's request.

She had completely rearranged her schedule to fulfill Dean’s request. After all, she should be there. Not that his superiors had demanded it. She didn’t feel comfortable leaving a person as volatile as Ash in direct contact with one of his best clients.

Punctually, Dean was brought to his presence in his spacious office. She sat with him at the conference table, asking the chief of security to go get the programmer.

Crowley gave Sands a venomous look when he felt he was charged with a task beneath his position. It was enough for Sands to push a button and the ‘mad scientist’ would come to the office by himself. It was not like he didn’t know the way.

But Josie loved to torture her subordinate, who she knew, had ambitions to take her place.

The man dressed all in black left and within a few minutes he returned with a tall young man in a suit and impeccably white coat. In contrast to the neatness of his outfit, the hair was long in the back of his head while the front was cut short. Dean wanted to laugh, but he restrained himself. He couldn’t start this meeting on a bad note. Not when he had all _those_ requests.

Ash sat down in front of them, waiting for instructions. Josie started:

"Ash... this is Mr. Winchester." A handshake was exchanged between them as she continued. "He has an idea of the program he wants to hire. It is a very specific case and, I believe, it will require the creation of a very complex personality."

"I appreciate a challenge, Mr. Winchester. What do you have in mind? "

Dean cleared his throat before starting. It was a reasonable request. _So why did he feel like this?_

"Well... Ash... I'm an old sports cars collector. I like to work with engines and restoration. At the moment, I need... " he swallowed hard before continuing " ... someone... to help me in this kind of work. " He said nothing wrong. Why did he feel a little embarrassed? It was like hiring a mechanic. Even though he seem to be asking for something wrong.

"Yes, I see ..." Ash replied. "He must have knowledge of the subject. Knowledge comparable to yours or superior? I don’t know if you want to have the upper hand here or if he would have autonomy... "

"I have written a list of all the technical knowledge I desire. He must have the highest levels of knowledge and ability, no matter that they are higher than mine. I don’t have a problem with that. " He shot Ash an irritated look. "My collection will benefit from this knowledge. I don’t want him to feel inhibited from contradicting me, I want him to show initiative, not just wait for my orders. "

"I understand. It's not any kind of ‘power play' game, then."

Dean looked shocked, but he understood that many customers liked to perform fantasies of domination.

"No, it's not about power play, Ash. What I need is a mechanic. An excellent mechanic who can help me at work on classic cars. I want it to be as close as possible... to an ordinary person, as if he had been hired by me as an employee. "

"Um, it's possible. Do you want him to be a person totally dedicated to work or should he have some other kind of personality traits? "

"Personality traits...? What for example?"

"Any other feature can be added, from likes and preferences, to aspects of personality. Should he be quiet or talkative? Must be serious or funny? "

"Well, he should... enjoy music, the music that I like and is always playing in the workshop. Classic rock. I would also like him to be a focused person who works hard, but who is willing to talk to me if I'm in the mood. "

"Talk?" Said the programmer, raising his eyebrows.

"Yes, talk! What's wrong with that? "

“Mr. Winchester, please understand... This is not a usual request. Our clients generally have more specific purposes for interacting behaviors with Actives. I need to know if you intend to have a sexual relationship with this mechanic you're hiring... "

"Sexual? No! How can you think something like that? I want him to be more like... a friend. A friend with whom I share a hobby. Can it be done?"

"Definitely," Ash replied. "I'll need another list of your personal interests, so I can program him to talk to you."

"I also want him to stay in my house for the duration of the contract. I like having freedom to work on cars when I feel like it, and it can be late at night or at dawn. He would stay in the employee's quarters and shouldn’t have had to return to the laboratory for 'treatments' during the period. It's possible?"

"Yes, with some specific adjustments he will be able to maintain the imprinted personality for longer periods. He will be... as one of your employees, but a totally devoted one, nothing will distract him from work, his interests will be similar to yours. No problem."

"That’s all I’m asking."

Josie asked:

"Do you have a specific Active in mind or is it up to us to choose one?"

Dean had already made the choice, but requested the catalog again, he didn’t want to look too anxious.

Looking at the pictures on the tablet, he occasionally pointed to some person. He knew that the Active he wanted was at the end of the compilation and he tried to control himself when he saw the face that had impressed him so much.

"This one. Angel? He seems to have a good physical constitution to deal with the activities I propose. Is he available? "

Josie Sands smiled almost imperceptibly and nodded. Then she asked:

"For how long should he be at your disposal , Mr. Winchester?"

"I think at least a couple of weeks. Is it possible to postpone the deadline if necessary? "

Ash replied:

"He will stay for two weeks at your house and then he should come for a treatment. This is for maintenance, as an Active. Then you can ask for any adjustment that you deem necessary in his personality. "

Dean nodded and Mrs. Sands dismissed the programmer. Now they would discuss the financial issue.

“Mr. Winchester, I hope you understand that the lengthy period during which you will use our Active will result in a substantial increase in the usual rates. And your technical specifications as well. "

"I don’t want to discuss it. If everything goes as expected and I’m happy, I even think about paying you a bonus. However, I want this program's exclusivity. "

"I understand. These terms will all be present in the contract. Shall I send it to your lawyer? "

Dean was relieved to think that Sam wasn’t in town to read this contract. He loathed his use of Dollhouse Actives and certainly wouldn’t understand why he wouldn’t hire a real mechanic. Practical as it was, he would see the financial question first, considering it a waste, in addition to all the moral questions he always raised when confronted with this kind of service. He had already told Dean several times that he considered the Dollhouse nothing more than a technological brothel for rich perverts. And Dean was part of that group, to their utter disgust.

"Send it straight to my house as soon as possible."

“Mr. Winchester, since you are willing to pay such a high sum, I feel obliged to offer you our newest service. It's so new and so revolutionary that only few customers have ever been able to have access to it. "

"And what service would that be?" He asked curiously.

"This is an alternate voice-activated command. Any kind of behavior - anything, mind you - can be incorporated into the basic program you're hiring. This behavior may be inactive for the duration of the contract, or under certain circumstances may be enabled by the use of a keyword chosen by the client prior to programming. "

"What do you mean... any behavior? What is entailing? "

"Well, as you are a long time customer and we trust you completely... I would say... some clients come from branches of activities that sometimes require _drastic action_ , if you understand me. Activities that could occasionally be considered, somewhat divergent from... the law. "

Dean's eyes widened. That was a possibility he could imagine, but he couldn’t believe anyone would use the House Actives for criminal activities. Josie had practically confessed it to him. Sam shouldn’t hear about that or...

"Are you calling me a... _Mafia_ boss or something like that? Well... I don’t want to know any more about that. I don’t think this service will be useful to me. "

"Please don’t misunderstand my intentions! I'm just thinking about your well-being! I wouldn’t propose anything illegal to you... I just thought that... with no sexual connotation involved, maybe we could install a verbal trigger, in case the situation between you two changes during the course of the contract. "

"I don’t think it's necessary. Get the papers ready and send them to me as soon as possible." He got up and headed for the elevator, not waiting for her reply.

However, she had already put some questionable ideas in his mind.


	4. Chapter 4

The next day he had already signed the contract and things were under way. Josie had told him on the phone that it would take a few days for Ash to refine the program to include everything Dean had requested.

He was very anxious for the arrival of the Active. He had stopped working on the engine he had dismantled, waiting for him. Thus, Dean could verify the level of his knowledge and how he behaved when confronted with the task, not only the mechanical aspect but the social interaction aspects as well. Dean already had even a few more cars in sight to employ Angel’s abilities.

Deep down, he had been tempted to accept Josie's offer of a sexual verbal trigger. He had already considered the question before, that’s why he left the last item on his first list open. But after some thought, he came to the conclusion that it might complicate matters. It was just to be a working arrangement and friendly companionship - and only while Sam was away. He had asked for the program's exclusivity, but he could imagine asking for the removal of part of the social interaction in the future, to use Angel or any other Active as a skilled mechanic only. If the program met his expectations, of course.

The days seemed to drag on. The week came to an end and he was extremely impatient. He had already asked the housekeeper to prepare a room for 'the mechanic he had hired and that would be staying there for two weeks'. Everything was ready to receive him and still no contact from the Dollhouse.

Tired of waiting, he finally called the manager. She answered, since to her personal phone only the most valued customers had access. She reassured him that she had overseen the process and she was certain that Dean would be extremely pleased. According to her, Ash has excelled in the creation of _James Milton_. He would be ‘delivered’ to Dean’s house at the end of the day.

Hanging up, he went to the workshop. He had time to check if everything was in order and still take a shower and change. He was not sure why, but he wanted to be ready for… James.

*****

Punctually at seventeen thirty he heard the intercom. Dean had already given instructions for the new employee to be taken to the room prepared for him and to leave his luggage there, and to be then directed straight to the garage where the car he was working was in.

The millionaire was anxious and paced back and forth, checking the tools in the drawers and the parts on the counter. He was wearing casual clothes, which wouldn't interfere with his action if he wished to work in the car.

At seven fifty the side garage door opened and one of Dean's gardeners announced the mechanic's arrival.

Dean turned, and his eyes were immediately drawn to those blue orbits that had once fascinated him. At this short distance they were even more impressive and he needed to take a deep breath to be able to take a step and reach out to the dark-haired man who was approaching with a small smile on his face.

"James, I presume."

"Yes, Mr. Winchester. Nice to meet you. I am honored to be able to assist you. I followed your career and I can say, if you will forgive me... I a fan. "

"Thank you for the support, but that’s past now. I can only recall the glories of what has gone... I dedicate myself to the restoration of some precious things at the moment, as you already know. Are you able to advise me? I got good reviews of your work... "

"Yes, Mr. Winchester... I worked for Duke Gabrielle Degli Angeli in Italy and for Sir Michael Lord in England. I hope these are enough credentials. "

"Duke Degli Angeli, eh? He and his sister, Anna, have invited me once to their Villa in Tuscany. He has an impressive collection."

"Yes, sir, but I don’t think yours is less impressive, if I may say so," he said, looking around at the glass area that contained Dean's beautiful cars.

"James, I want us to treat each other informaly, since we will work together on the cars, spending much of the time here in the garage. Call me Dean."

"OK... Dean. My friends call me Jimmy. "

*****

The first few hours of coexistence went exactly according to Dean's plans. Jimmy had all the knowledge necessary for the job, was organized, had initiative and even contradicted Dean once or twice when he had made a ‘mistake’ on purpose. He was still a friendly company and had hummed to the music that played in the background. The former racing champion couldn’t be more satisfied. Dean told him it was time for dinner and rest, asking him to report to work the next morning at eight.

He got back to his office after dinner to call Ms. Sands and thank her for what she accomplished. He was totally in accordance with the specifications so far.

"Yes, Ms. Sands... He did very well today. He demonstrated expertise and knew how to behave like a pro. I'm considering a special bonus for Ash, after he hummed along with 'Stairway to Heaven', "he said, laughing.

"I'm glad you're happy, Mr. Winchester. I will forward your compliments to Ash. Don’t hesitate to call again if something is not right. Ash made sure he could make other adjustments if necessary. "

"I believe it will not happen, but I appreciate the offer. Good night, Ms. Sands. "

As he set the phone to the base, he raised his eyes and a soft knock on the half-open door startled him. It should be the housekeeper, Ellen.

"Come in."

To his surprise, the man who pushed the door cautiously was the new mechanic.

“Mr. Winchester? Sorry to bother you, but... Mrs. Harvelle asked me to bring you the beer. She seemed rather... troubled. "

"Ellen? Where is she? "He said, getting up quickly. "Oh, thanks for the beer. Do you need anything else?"

"She's in the kitchen and... well... if you need anything, don't hesitate to call me. I’ll be in my room."

"Thank you, Jimmy, but I'm sure it won’t be necessary. "

"See you tomorrow, Dean."

*****

Dean found Ellen sitting at the kitchen table, her eyes red. She had her head rested on one hand and on the other held a crumpled paper.

She was his housekeeper now, but she had always been a friend to his family. His father and the late Bill Harvelle had been on the army together. Ellen was like a second mother to him and Sam.

"Ellen... what is it?" He said softly, crouching beside her chair, one of his arms wrapping her shoulders gently.

"It's nothing, Dean, don’t worry..."

"I’ve never seen you cry… What's the problem?"

Reluctantly she handed him the paper she held in her fist. Dean opened it and read it quickly. It was a letter from Jo, sent from Reno, Nevada, where she attended college.

In the letter she reported that she had become involved with a man and that she later had discovered him to be a dangerous person. She had to leave the university dormitory and stay at a friend's house. She had already talked to the police and asked her mother not to worry.

But Ellen was distressed, for the letter was dated three weeks earlier and since then the young woman had not communicated with her in any way.

Dean comforted her and said he was going to get in touch with a friend who could help find her and bring her home.

Jo was impetuous and insisted on living on her own. He had never wanted to live in the shadow of Dean's fortune.

FBI agent Victor Henricksen would certainly help him.

*****

Later, when he went to bed, Dean put aside his concern for Ellen's daughter a little and thought about the circumstance that had made him aware of the situation. Jimmy coming to his office without announcement, unexpectedly. Exactly when Dean was talking about him to the Dollhouse manager.

He thought there was no problem, but... Something troubled Dean. How long had Jimmy been outside before he knocked? What had he heard? Dean didn't say anything suspicious, but... something in Angel’s eyes made him feel uneasy.


	5. Chapter 5

Dean had easily grown accustomed to the routine in the workshop. Jimmy and he seemed to connect, to work in unison. It was an effortless, natural, and satisfying work relationship. At the end of the day the two separated and Dean knew that Jimmy would be in his room, resting and waiting the next day to get back to business.

It was like an old friendship such was the level of understanding and affinity they displayed. Sometimes Dean allowed himself to forget for a few minutes that it was just a fantasy, that James wasn’t real. He only reproduced his specifications and this reflection made him come to the conclusion how pathetic it was to ‘rent’ a friend. For a small fortune and for a fixed time.

However, what disturbed him most was how much James, or Angel, attracted him physically. Those eyes, usually focused on mechanical tasks, sometimes amidst a friendly joke or teasing stared at him with such intensity that it made Dean gasp. The body, which had only been able to observe that day at the Dollhouse, when legs and arms were exposed in a shorts and sleeveless T-shirt, was always covered, but Dean could see a strip of chest through the collar of the shirts and his abdomen when he lifted his arms. The lightly tanned skin and the lean musculature made him lose himself in reverie.

He had done well not to program anything sexual into Jimmy. If that had happened, work on the new car would probably not be as advanced. Dean didn’t know if he would be able to keep his hands off his attractive 'employee'.

By the the second week, in the midst of the definitive placement of the engine in the car, Sam entered the garage unannounced.

For a few moments he stared at his brother and the stranger, oblivious to his presence, at work, before saying anything. He watched as the operation flowed quietly, and wondered if himself was Dean's assistant if things would be so peaceful... They were brothers, and as brothers, the differences of point of view and the long-standing implications were expected.

"Good afternoon!" He finally said in a friendly tone.

Dean lifted his head from the engine compartment and his eyes light up as he saw Sam. He looked relaxed and in a good mood.

"Hi, Sam! You arrived just in time for the engine test. This is Jimmy... James Milton, the mechanic I hired to help me. "

"Nice to meet you, James."

"Nice to meet you too, Sam, call me Jimmy, please."

Dean wiped his hands on a stained flannel and gave his brother a hug. They'd been apart for almost a month, and Dean had missed the man he'd helped raise.

He walked to the sink to wash his hands properly, and as he did so, he noticed that Sam and Jimmy were talking in a low voice, leaning against the car, looking at the engine. Every now and then Jimmy would point to some part, but the interaction was fairly formal between them.

He picked up the key, opened the door, sat behind the wheel, and started the engine, which roared back to life, after having been reduced to a pile of disconnected parts.

The bright smile on his face echoed in the faces of the other two men in the garage. Dean rejoiced at the sound.

He turned it off and came closer to the two of them, patting them on the back happily.

"We did a good job, Jimmy! I think it’s enough for today. Go rest. We'll be back to work tomorrow, okay? "

"Excuse me, then. Dean, Sam. " He left with a bow and a satisfied smile on his face.

Sam watched him leave the workshop and turned to Dean.

"New mechanic? Who indicated him? "

"Gabrielle degli Angeli. Remember him?"

"Hard to forget when he kept following me day and night when we stayed in his Villa... Nasty fellow!" He said with a grimace of disgust.

"Well, but he knows cars... and mechanics. Jimmy is perfect! "

"You keep talking like that and I’ll never help you again... if you still need me now that you have your precious Jimmy... Don’t tell me he likes Zeppelin too..."

"He's almost as much a fan of Zeppelin as I am... and I can turn the music up as much as I want, he doesn’t have sensitive ears like yours..." he said, poking his brother in the ribs.

They walked away, toward the kitchen, where Ellen would greet them happily.

*****

Sam came back the next day and can watch his brother and the new employee working. He was almost jealous of how well they understood each other. On the other hand, Dean needed friends - real friends. He had been too involved with the Dollhouse Actives to Sam's liking, always searching there for what he didn’t find in the real world, precisely because of his difficulty in relating because he couldn’t express his feelings.

Suddenly, his mind was taken by the idea that Jimmy was an Active. He stood there for a while and noticed that Jimmy always responded to what Dean was hoping to hear. Unless the subject was mechanical. There he demonstrated autonomy and openly disagreed with his boss. He always knew what to say, like he knew all his boss' preferences - or had been programmed to know.

Sam would find out what was happening there.

"Jimmy, I hope Dean is giving you time off to compensate for the insane hours that make you work... and the annoyance to hear this songs all the time at this unbearable volume..."

"I like the music, Sam, it helps my concentration. And as for rest... I have slept well enough, thank you. "

"Slept? Haven’t you gone out to relax since you arrived? I know Dean's other employees go out to have fun. Didn’t they invite you? "

"Yes, they did. I prefer to rest in my room, so I don’t get distracted from my work."

"Are you married, do you have a family? If you do, you should be eager to get back to them... "

"No, I don’t have a family, Sam. I am totally devoted to my work. That's all I care about. "

Dean followed the exchange in silence. He looked from one to the other, trying to understand why Sam was making all those nonsense questions.

Sensing his brother's awereness, Sam said nothing else. He was going to confirm his suspicions some other way.

*****

"Sam? _Sam Winchester?_ Ciao, carino! "

"Ciao, Gabrielle. Come stai? " Sam said, using practically all of his knowledge of the Italian language.

"Well, well. I am glad to know that you haven’t forgotten your old friends... To what do I owe the honor of this call? "

"Dean is very pleased with the mechanic you indicated... He asked me to thank you. At the moment he is unable to do it and knowing how well we two get along... "Sam wanted to kick himself for saying that, but it was part of the plan.

"Mechanic?" He said. "I don’t remember indicating any mechanics to Dean... What's his name?"

"James Milton."

"It was not me, I'm sure, I've never heard that name... "he replied, continuing in another tone, quickly. "But he's right about one thing: both of us, you and I really got along well... Ah, those beautiful days... Why don’t you ... come and spend some time at our Villa? Anna would be thrilled with Dean’s presence and you and I... we could pick up where we left off… "

"Oh, that would be great, Gabrielle! I'm sure Jess... _my wife Jessica_ would love to spend time at your Villa. She has always shown a lot of interest in Tuscany. "

"Wife? Sam, you got… married?... But, but... _congratulations_. "He continued in a distant voice _"What? Yes, yes ... "_ Returning to his normal tone he added," Sam, they're calling me to a meeting, I need to hang up. Sorry. Call when you want to visit, then. We'll be... delighted to welcome you and your wife here. That's what friends are for!"

Sam hung up quickly, taking advantage of the cue. This guy always made him uneasy.

But now he knew.

*****

At dinner, the conversation was about Sam and Jessica's trip. They had gone to Florida for a few days.

"And you, Dean? Any news?"

"Besides the new car... nothing new."

"It's strange not having your... ‘puppets’ here at the moment."

"Oh, I'm not in the mood, until I finish the car I'm going to stay away from the temptations."

Sam had already met his share of Actives at Dean's house to know he didn’t like that idea at all. Too bad the older brother didn’t share his moral questioning about the use of 'rented' people for obscure fantasies.

"Are you still using the services of those leeches, then? Aren’t you ashamed?"

"Why should I be ashamed? It's a fairly safe and legal transaction, I must remind you. "

"'Legal' is a questionable term, but... I know it's a lost cause."

"I pay... they give me what I want... Why should I reproach myself?"

"Are you sure... there aren’t any of them around here now? That Jimmy guy looks... too good to be true... Does he also share your bed?"

Dean choked on his beer and his eyes revealed more than he wanted. He knew Sam knew the truth.

"No, Sam, he doesn’t do this kind of service for me! He's here to help me with the cars... "

"Isn’t he an expensive mechanic? Are there no other 'benefits' involved? Do you really expect me to believe that? "

"Believe what you want. I'm telling you what it's like. Draw your own conclusions. "

"Oh, I will."

*****

Dean went to bed and that conversation pounded in his head. Sam knew. He questioned, as usual, but Dean didn’t expect him to understand. There was no way to explain when they looked at the problem from diametrically opposed points of view.

There was, in fact, no problem he knew, except that it further diminished his appreciation for his brother's morality. But he had hit a nerve when he asked if Jimmy slept with him.

Dean wanted that. He wanted Angel in his bed. He had a different impression of Angel upon meeting him, but the attraction was too great for him to ignore. He had done his best. He had requested that the Active not be programmed for that type of activity, had declined the offer of activation by voice control, kept his hands away from him at great cost...

Only three days to go. He would do his best. He would be able to resist it. However... Ash had told him that 'adjustments' could be made before Jimmy's next stay.

And that made his thoughts race at the moment.


	6. Chapter 6

Their last Friday together left Dean saddened to have to return Jimmy.

Well, Dean had learned a lot from him and spent pleasant moments in his company. Even if his appearance was a distraction at times, he preferred it to having to work alone or with someone with whom he had not so much interaction.

For the first time he asked Jimmy to sit with him outside and rest while they had a beer.

'Employer' and 'employee' sat in the shade in pleasant silence, listening to the last chords of the album they listened to during work.

Dean wanted to say something, even if he knew it was unnecessary. Something positive like ‘thank you for the job’, for the company ... And he thought this had never crossed his mind with any other Dollhouse Active.

Standing, he said good-bye to Jimmy, thanking him in a few words. Dean went to his office to call the Dollhouse to fetch him as soon as possible.

*****

Dean met his 'friend' James Milton again a month later. It had been a long month. There had not been a day when he had not wanted Jimmy's company. That was stupid! How could he have become so attached? But after three weeks he had capitulated and called the Dollhouse.

The excuse was a car he was planning to buy. Instead of sending an advisor or whoever it was to see the merchandise, he decided that a few days away from home would do him good. If he would also have Jimmy and his knowledge it would be an added bonus.

Then, on schedule, the Active was dropped off at his home so he and Dean could go on a trip to Kansas to check on the possibility of purchasing another item for his collection.

Sam knew he was leaving for a few days, but Dean had failed to mention that Jimmy would accompany him. He didn’t need his brother souring his mood when he was preparing for a pleasant trip in the company of a... friend, in a peculiar way.

Dean had already filled the Impala tank, the most important car in his collection, though not the rarest or the most valuable. It was the best for him, having belonged to his father. The two of them had restored this car when Dean was still a rookie on the tracks. When his father had died, Sam had insisted that his brother kept it. It was his Baby the first automobile of the beautiful collection Dean had at that moment.

Dean also hated to fly so whenever possible he would take his precious to the road and enjoy the trip.

Jimmy looked at Dean, confused as he was instructed to put his luggage in the trunk. But the boss confirmed, and they set off for Kansas City.

The trip would last about eight hours, if they drive nonstop. But Dean loved the road and had long had the chance to embark on a road trip with a friend. The idea was to drive to Tulsa and stay overnight at a good hotel. All Dean wanted was to enjoy the trip, appreciate the road and the landscape, listening to his favorite music.

They left Dallas after lunch. They would arrive at their first destination in the late afternoon. It was comforting not to have to argue with his traveling companion about what music they would hear or if it was too loud. As it was, they sang along with their father's old cassette tapes. After a few hours Jimmy was asleep leaning against the window, despite the deafening volume. Dean couldn’t help but smile... and feel something strange deep in his chest, which he made the most effort to ignore, without much success.

Arriving in Tulsa, they stopped at a luxury hotel, where they left their luggage and went out for some drinks. Dean knew he was an attractive man and there was always someone flirting with him, wherever he went. But that night he just wanted Jimmy's relaxed, comfortable conversation and a few whiskey shots, but not so many that could spoil the rest of the trip with a hangover.

Dean noticed that Jimmy also attracted glances, but that he ignored them, if he noticed them. He thought they had not programmed an answer to that, it wasn’t in the specifications. He tried to make a slight pass himself, which went completely unnoticed. Yes, he was not programmed to flirt or notice this kind of attention. Which implied that... Angel definitely wasn’t programmed at the moment for correlated activities. He was like an asexual, in essence, and however relaxing it was in some respects, it did stir up Dean's interest.

Returning to the hotel, they said goodbye and went to their respective rooms, where Jimmy would undoubtedly sleep like an angel and Dean... well... Dean would engage in solitary activities while thinking of the beautiful eyes of the ‘innocent’ man next door.

*****

A hearty breakfast prepared them for the second part of the journey. They would be in Kansas City by lunch time and in the afternoon they had an appointment to see the merchandise.

Dean didn’t expect a mansion, but the house where he found the car for sale surprised him. It was a dilapidated house in a suburb, and the car was in a garage in the back of a weedy backyard. The state of neglect of the house and land left him worried about the state of conservation of the product he had come to buy. But their worries were in vain as they entered the old shed to find a diamond in the rough. There were scratches on the paint, but nothing that couldn’t be fixed. Jimmy did what he did best and declared the engine in good condition, as well as the upholstery. It would require some work, but much less than the previous one in which they had worked.

It was a bargain. Dean couldn’t believe the owner would sell the car for so little. But it wasn’t his nature to take advantage of people - not from the real 'people,' he thought, the seeds of Sam's ideas finally taking root in his mind - and inquiring he discovered the man had inherited the car from a beloved uncle. He had thought of restoring it himself and honoring the memory of his deceased relative, but he hadn’t had the financial means.

Dean was moved by the story and made a point, given the hardships the car owner was enduring, of paying him more than he had been asked. He had a notion that the car, even as it was, could reach a much higher market price. He handed him the check, and the owner looked shocked for a moment, before being persuaded to accept the sum. They agreed that in a few days a specialized carrier would come and pick up the automobile.

Dean and Jimmy left and walked back to the Impala, which had been parked in front of the house on the narrow street.

Dean was pleased with the deal. It was a nice addition to his collection, and it felt good to have helped the man. Jimmy was looking at him with a frown, as if he didn’t quite understand what Dean did.

"What?" Dean shot, not losing his cool. "He needs the money and the price was very low. It wasn’t fair. Everybody wins."

The mechanic just shook his head in agreement, but a small smile appeared on his lips.

*****

Dean wished he could extend the trip. He was having a lot of fun. Arriving at his hotel in Kansas City, he let Jimmy go to his room and devoted himself to researching other vehicles for sale in the area. Well, maybe his research encompassed far more than the surrounding area: he found another gem in Arizona.

He called the mechanic's room and warned him that they would change the itinerary to see another vehicle. Jimmy showed no reaction, agreeing with Dean without hesitation. Dean didn’t know if his total compliance still pleased him or if it had begun to become a little annoying. It was good to have a friendly discussion sometimes. If he had been traveling with Sam and told him that, there would certainly be some discussion, pros and cons, until they decided what to do. He could... maybe ask Ash to change this behavior for future contracts... and also that other aspect, he thought, getting excited. But he wasn’t sure of that yet.

*****

Dean decided to take the long way. He also decided to make the trip an opportunity to test Jimmy's boundaries.

He began to tease him, under different circumstances, regarding the most varied subjects, only to prove him adaptable to any Dean's opinion. Jimmy only contradicted Dean in mechanical matters. And it was immune to any sexual advances. And that was it.

Dean had to conclude that it was a bit dull. I would definitely request changes to Ash in the future. But for now they were on a trip, so he preferred to remain silent for a while.

Tired of the monotony of the landscape, he stopped at a diner for lunch. It was a simple place, but the aura of family business attracted him. They went in and sat down at a table by the window where Dean could keep an eye on his beloved car.

They ate in silence, and Dean couldn’t see any trace of annoyance or irritation on the companion's face. It was like looking at an android which was off.

Dean sighed. He wanted to be alone for some moments. He asked Jimmy to go to the counter and order some coffee and a slice of pie. As expected, he followed his instructions immediately. The employer watched him walk to the counter and saw that no one was in sight. Jimmy walked a few steps toward the door leading to the kitchen and gently called the waitress.

She came back and was noting Jimmy’s request when she was thrown forward by a blast coming from the door behind her.

The young woman was thrown over the counter and only didn’t hit Jimmy because he had fallen on his back moments before. They lay there, while Dean, shocked for a few seconds, was not sure what to do.

Immediately, the other waitress walked into the kitchen to help those who were there and help extinguish the flames.

He heard someone call an ambulance since the cook suffered some burns, but the fire had already been extinguished.

Dean knelt down first next to the unconscious waitress and noticing she seemed to be unharmed, he went to check on the Active that had assumed the personality of James Novak.

What Dean found shocked him. The known face was transfigured by a look of terror as Dean had never seen before. Jimmy was paralyzed and Dean had to pull him hard so that he unfolded from the fetal position in which he was.

Seeing that he was unharmed, Dean asked him to stand up. He didn’t want anyone to find them there, and he was grateful internally for the fact that Jimmy wasn’t injured. Maybe he had hit his head, but he couldn’t get a word out of the other man. Jimmy had begun to cry softly, hugging his own body, swaying slightly from side to side.

Dean wrapped his arms around him, holding him close to his body. He wanted to leave the place before someone else came. He didn’t know how ‘Jimmy’ would be seen by a doctor in the altered state he was.

Dean left the terrorized man in the backseat and started off at full speed. He looked for a hotel. He needed to get Jimmy to calm down and then call the Dollhouse.

*****

Dean carried Jimmy to the room with the number nine painted on its door. It was an inexpensive, roadside motel with peeling paint, not at all like the hotels they'd stayed in until then.

He laid Jimmy on one of the beds, closed the door, and paused for a moment to think. Should he call the Dollhouse immediately? What would he say? He hadn’t told them about the change of plans during the trip and they might not like the idea very much.

Sitting down next to the man curled up in bed, he hesitated only a moment before he began massaging his back and saying comforting words. Dean wasn’t very good at these things, but he was going to try.

After a few minutes the constant sobbing subsided, but Jimmy's eyes still looked frightened.

Dean tried to talk to him then:

"Jimmy... _Jimmy_... it's me, Dean. Do you remember me?"

He didn’t answer at first and Dean called his name again.

"I'm not Jimmy! Why do you call me Jimmy? I'm Castiel, OK? CASTIEL!", the Active shouted suddenly.


	7. Chapter 7

Immediately after his outburst, the man covered his mouth with both hands. His eyes seemed full of fear and guilt and he lowered his face and began to repeat softly: _"Castiel... Castiel... Castiel..."_

Dean, at the unexpected shout, removed the hand he had on the other man’s back. He was shaken by what he saw. Who could this personality be that had manifested itself after the explosion in the restaurant? It was not Jimmy. Could it be a superposition to another recent imprint?

Dean didn’t know what to do. Before he could get up and pick up his phone, the dark-haired man leaned back against his hand again, in a silent plea for help. Even though he was feeling helpless in the face of the situation, Dean couldn’t deny comfort to a person who were clearly suffering. He wrapped his shivering shoulders and said softly,

"Cas... tiel?" He stopped, testing the name. "Do you need anything?"

"Castiel... Castiel... I am Castiel... I am Castiel..." he said, his eyes shut tight, his arms wrapping around himself.

Dean stayed where he was, offering his presence so that ‘Castiel’ would calm down, which, he realized, was beginning to happen slowly. He rested his face on Dean's shoulder and, still with his eyes closed, after a few moments he sighed at length. The former race driver wrapped the other arm around him and  brought him closer. They stayed like that for a long time. When he felt Castiel’s body soften, he looked at him and saw that he had fallen asleep or fainted, he couldn’t be sure of anything.

Gradually he lowered him until he was lying on the bed. He loosened his arms and gingerly checked his heart rate with a finger on his carotid. It seemed to have normalized.

Dean was confused. He didn’t know if he should call the Dollhouse. What if... this was the real Angel, imprisoned in that body under the current imprint? He knew that the authentic personality must have been stored in the company headquarters, but Angel had come from New York... Who could tell how things were done there?

Distraught, he finally called Sam. He was going to be furious, but that was all that was left for Dean to do.

*****

"Are you trying to tell me that you broke your toy? What are you going to do now?"

"If I knew what to do I wouldn’t call you, you idiot! I need help... What do you think?"

"What is he doing?"

"He seems to be sleeping. All this situation must have exhausted him. "

"Well, from what you've told me, you're about ten hours away from Dallas... I'm going to talk to Jessica and I intend to leave in an hour. I'll only get there tomorrow. Do you think you can handle the situation until then? "

"I'll think of something. Do you think... I should call the Dollhouse? "

"If there is a possibility that this Castiel is his original personality... Don’t you think he might be at risk?"

"That's what I thought... I can’t..." he stopped, not knowing how to explain what he felt. Guilt was finally coming down on him.

"Stay there. I'll arrive in a few hours and we’ll see what we can do, okay? "

"Thank you, Sam. And explain to Jess that you're coming because of me, I don’t want her to get mad at you. She's already too good for you as it is. "

"OK. You ask for my help and you still insult me. Why do I listen to you? "

"Because you love me, Sammy. See you tomorrow."

He hung up and put the phone in his back pocket.

Castiel was still unconscious. Should he sedate him? Tie him? He decided against both, he couldn’t quite explain why. Dean had been frightened at first, but he hadn’t really felt threatened by this unbalanced man who had suddenly appeared from nowhere.

He sat on the other bed and watched. Soon he was also sound asleep.

*****

Dean awoke with a light touch to his face. Castiel was sitting on his bed and gazing intently at him. Dean jumped back, involuntarily pulling away from the contact.

"Don’t be afraid. I won’t hurt you. "

"Castiel? Are you... okay? "Dean said, his voice gasping for breath.

"Yes, I feel OK. Who are you?"

"Dean. I'm your friend."

"If you say so... you must be new to the hospital. Nice to meet you, Dean. "

"Hospital?"

"They don’t want me to know it's a hospital... But I know."

"Who... don’t want you to know it is a hospital?"

"They. You know... they. Always them!"

"Yes I know. Them."

"Have you been...?"

"Where?"

"Not where... have you been..."

"I don’t understand, Castiel... I have been what?"

"Cleansed?"

"What? Who was cleansed? "

"Everyone. Except me. When they come, I hide. They never catch me!"

"No... I don’t think I was... cleansed. How do you know... everyone was cleansed?"

"They forgot everything... They forgot their own names... But I didn’t! I remember: I am Castiel. Castiel. Castiel."

"Yes, you are Castiel... and I'm Dean. I remember who I am. I wasn’t cleansed then."

"Tomorrow I'll teach you how to hide from them. I like you, Dean. They will not catch you, I'll protect you. Tomorrow... Now... I'm very tired. Will you watch? "

“You can sleep. I’ll call you... if they come."

Castiel lay down and start snoring softly in a few minutes. Dean couldn’t sleep again. The man in the next bed was odd.

Something was very wrong. Dean had to think.

*****

Castiel woke up the next morning and found Dean walking around the room.

"Hello, Dean. They didn’t come, did they? "

"No, Cas... may I call you Cas?"

"We are friends now. I'm Cas for you. But not for them. For them... No. "

"Are you hungry? Thirsty?"

"Yes, yes. And I need to go to the bathroom. Where is it? I guess I forgot... No... I can’t forget it, I'm Castiel. I'm Cas for Dean. Cas for Dean."

Dean opened the door to the small bathroom and as soon as the man entered, he leaned against the door and said:

"Don’t lock the door, Cas. If they come... I need to help you. "

"Yes, I understand. I won’t lock the door. In case they come. "

Dean looked at his watch. Sam would be there in a few hours. He had to talk more to Castiel. What he was beginning to suspect was too horrible to believe.

*****

As Cas was calm, they walked to the hotel reception where there were some vending machines. Dean picked up some snacks, water and coffee for both of them, but Cas stayed in front of one of the machines with an interested look.

"Do you want anything else?"

"Chocolate. They never give us chocolate. Please, Dean. "

"Just a second."

"We're friends now, Dean. I like you. Don’t let me forget, right? I'm Castiel... Cas for you. "

"Cas for me, yes. Here's your chocolate. "

"Thank you. You are my friend. I'm Cas for you. "

*****

They sat down to eat in their room.

"Cas?"

"Hmmm?" He mumbled as he chewed on the candy, which he had saved for the end of the meal.

"How did I get here? Do you know?"

"No. I didn’t see they bring you. You were already here. I saw you when I woke up. "

"And how about you? How did you get here? Do you remember? "

Cas tilted his head, concentrating. Suddenly he closed his eyes tightly and breathed in.

"Fire... fire, I guess. Then... I was here. It's a hospital, I think I was burned in the fire. They don’t want me to know, but I know it's a hospital. "

"I think you don’t like to remember the fire, is that so? Here you are safe. I'm with you, I'm your friend. I won't let them harm you, OK? "

"You're my friend, Dean. I'm Cas for you. I know."

Dean turned on the TV and Castiel sat in bed and was entertained by some cartoons. The light-haired man said he was going to the bathroom, and Castiel nodded.

Closing the door, he called Sam again.

"Good morning, Dean. I'll be there in about two hours. How’s everything?"

"Weird. He... thinks he's someone else. Castiel. "Dean briefly told Sam what he had learn from the other man in their confusing conversations. Sam listened and knew what that might entail. Dean didn’t have to tell him. He hung up and left the bathroom to find Castiel lying down again.

"How are you feeling, Cas?"

"My head hurts. I'm trying to sleep. Will you watch? "

"Sleep, I’ll be here."

*****

Sam arrived about the scheduled time. He knocked lightly on the door and Dean opened it quietly.

Sam’s eyes immediately found Castiel in bed, asleep. Dean looked at him too, anxious. But another emotion filtered through his green eyes.

"Dean... is he...?" He whispered.

"The same. He complained of a headache. Do you have any idea?"

"It's complicated. I stopped at a diner and researched the name Castiel. There’s not a lot of people out there with that name... I found a Castiel Novak, born in Boston. He was a firefighter. Could it be him? "

"Um... he talked about a fire. And then the explosion... that's what caused his confusion... "

"According to the newspaper, he and two other firefighters were trapped in a building during a fire. The other two died, asphyxiated. Castiel survived, but suffered severe psychological damage. He was admitted to a psychiatric hospital. "

"When was that?"

"The news was twelve years ago. I couldn't find anything else. "

Dean looked at the man who started moving slowly on the bed. Before he awoke, he sat down next to him and gently touched his arm.

"Cas? Cas? Wake up... My friend... came to help us. "

"Friend? Is he going to be my friend too, Dean? "

"His name is Sam. If you want, he'll also call you Cas. "

Castiel looked at the tall, strong man standing at a safe distance. Sam had a light smile on his face, trying not to look threatening.

"Can I call you Cas?" He said, slowly approaching the bed where they were.

"Dean is my friend. He calls me Cas. If you call me Cas I'll also be your friend. But Dean is the first. My first friend. "

Sam looked with compassion at the man he had met a few days before as a mechanic in Dean's workshop. He was an Active of the Dollhouse. And they were all volunteers, his brother had told him many times. But Castiel didn’t seem to have volunteered for anything. He looked... Sam didn’t want to think about that possibility.

A look at Dean's face told him that the other had come to similar conclusion.

And then Sam saw something he didn’t expect. Dean had his arm around Castiel's shoulders, holding him close to his body. Cas looked at him with great concentration, then closed his eyes and leaned his head on the chest of the one he called his first friend.


	8. Chapter 8

After some discussion, Sam and Dean came up with a plan of action. First, Dean would call the Dollhouse and request extra time with Jimmy, since he would be available to him for only a week more. He'd ask for a few more days before he send Angel back. He wasn’t going to report anything extraordinary, though.

So that they could move on, they needed access to Ash and his equipment. But Josie shouldn’t know about the problem.

It was going to be difficult, but Dean knew of a weakness they could exploit: Crowley, the security chief. Through him he knew that they could achieve their goal. He knew he was going to have to pay handsomely for it. But he felt bad now for having used the Dollhouse services. Believing that they were volunteers, his conscience had not weighed, but on the assumption that they were unwilling people, taken against their will, and in Cas’ case... a psychiatric patient... that all started to revolt Dean.

Sam was going to set up a siege to get Crowley and Dean would take Cas to his house and take care of him until they could move forward.

Dean and Cas drove home in the Impala. When they got there the next day Dean came to Ellen and tried to explain the presence of the one they all knew as Jimmy, especially in the state he was in. He needed an ally, someone who could help him, and who could be trusted. He would have to tell her everything.

Dean took Cas into his own room and asked him to stay there. Cas, always solicitous to the requests of his ‘friend’, sat in an armchair and turned on the TV.

The master of the house then called Ellen and took her to his office, where he explained everything to her. As he saw her disbelieving and disgruntled gaze, he described Cas' state of mind and said he needed her help. She was the only person she could trust at that moment, besides Sam.

After a few moments of thought, she asked Dean to take her to see the Active.

Dean knocked softly on the door and opened a crack, put his head inside. Cas was still in the same place, entertained by some movie.

"Cas?" He said, and as he looked toward Dean with a smile, he continued, "I want you to meet another friend. She's like a mother to me and will help us hide from them, okay? "

"Is she going to help us?"

"Yes," he replied, coming in and gesturing for the housekeeper to accompany him. She entered the room and her face soon registered her astonishment at the change in the other man. His whole demeanor was different, he seemed shrunken, frightened. He looked with clear blue eyes toward the Dean, as if asking for his protection. Dean walked over to him, crouched beside him, and soon Cas' hand rested on his shoulder, anchoring him.

Ellen raised her eyebrows at the gesture and approached cautiously.

"Hi, sweetheart. Dean told me your name is Castiel. My name is Ellen and I'm going to help you. Anything you want, anything you need, you can ask me, okay? "

Another look in Dean's direction and he nodded.

"When you need anything, just push that button to the side of the bed, right? You won’t be able to leave the room for a few days, they are out there. I'll take care that they don’t come in, but you can’t leave, right? " She continued.

He nodded again and Dean got up, saying some soothing words to Cas and he and ellen left the room.

"Are you going to let him sleep in your room? And where are you sleeping?” Ellen asked bluntly.

"Ellen... look... it's not... like that between us, okay? But yes. He's going to sleep there. He needs my protection and he will have it. I owe it to him. "

A shadow passed over Ellen's face and she covered the mouth with her hand.

"Dean... is there a Dollhouse... in Nevada?"

The thought hadn’t occured to Dean before, but now it terrified him. He knew what Ellen had thought. Jo.

"I don’t know. But I'll find out, I'm going to call Victor Henricksen, my friend who was helping in the search. "

"Dean... if Jo... if she..." And lowered his head, taking a deep breath.

Dean hugged her and tried to comfort her. The guilt he felt was such that he couldn’t face his friend when she looked at him. She cupped his chin in her fingers and made him look into her eyes.

"Let's think about it later. We have Cas to take care of. He needs you, go and keep him company. "

*****

When Sam arrived, he had no news. He was on duty all day, watching the Dollhouse headquarters, but he didn’t see Crowley. Dean had described it to his brother.

They agreed that Sam would come back and do the same the next day. At some point he had to show.

Sam wanted to see Castiel and Dean led him into his bedroom, which received a raise of eyebrows that Dean completely ignored. Sam knew nothing would happen between them.

"Hi, Cas. Is everything OK?"

"Hello, Sam. Yes, all right. Dean and Ellen are taking care of me. They're not going to let them catch me. "

"No, they won’t. Well, sleep tight, I'll be back tomorrow. Take good care of Dean too, Cas. "

Dean couldn’t imagine where it had come from, but he said goodbye to his brother and turned to Castiel.

"Are you sleepy?"

As he saw Cas yawn and nod, Dean walked over to the armchair and offered him a hand so he could stand. Castiel took it and let himself be led to the bed. He lay down, the other man solicitously covering his body with the blanket. But before he closed his eyes, he asked,

"You're going to sleep here, aren’t you? Dean? "

At the question, Dean, who had thought about sleeping on the couch, sat down on the bed and said,

"Here? Yes, I'm going to sleep there on the couch. "

"Please... sleep here. There's enough space in bed. We will protect each other. Sam said I have to take care of you, too." And he started to pull Dean's arm to lie down beside him.

Reluctantly Dean lay down in the place Cas had reserved for him. Immediately the dark haired man closed his eyes and within a few moments he was snoring. Dean couldn’t sleep. His mind was a whirlwind and his right hand burned, hold tight between Castiel's fingers.

 


	9. Chapter 9

Dean woke up early, the sunlight starting to seep through the thin curtains. He felt good, a pleasant warmth enveloped him.

Then he realized where that feeling came from: Castiel's arms were around him, his back against the other man's chest. Their legs were intertwined. His first reaction was to get up quickly and pull away, but after a moment's thought he decided to stay there for a while. He couldn’t alarm Cas, he lied to himself. That warmth was something that had no place in his life of fast relationships. He appreciated how good it felt to be entwined with such strong arms and to feel the soft breath of someone on his neck.

But then his heavy conscience made him move slowly and try to remove himself from the embrace he didn’t deserve. Even that, that unimpeded closeness, made him feel guilty, remembering that Castiel was probably a psychiatric patient taken against his will to be an Active in the Dollhouse.

Castiel opened his sleepy eyes and a slight smile came to his lips.

"Good morning, Dean."

"Good morning, Cas. It's early, sleep some more. I need to go to the bathroom. I'll be right back."

"Is Ellen watching?"

"Yes, Ellen and I won't let anything bad happen to you." He said and felt Castiel's hand touch his arm, reaching for support.

"Go back to sleep. Everything is fine."

Closing the door carefully, he went to the study and sat at his desk. He also wanted to research about a firefighter named Castiel Novak.

*****

"Decorated with bravery, Sam. He was an important member of his company. But since he had no family, he can apparently be turned into a robot for the pleasure of others. "

"So finally you began to realize the implications of your esteemed Dollhouse, huh? Well, rather late than never! "

Dean felt embarrassed and hated having to agree with Sam. He was going to miss Pamela, though. James Novak would be his last contract at the Dollhouse.

"Well... what now? Crowley? "

"I met him in the parking lot. He's incredibly suspicious, isn’t he? He agreed to come and talk to you this afternoon. "

"I'll offer him whatever I can to get a private interview with Ash, away from Sands’red claws..."

"He doesn’t seem very reliable... and also quite unscrupulous. Will it work? If not... have you thought of a plan B? "

"It has to work, Sam. Castiel needs to have his mind reestablished and needs to be released from that contract. I'll pay whatever they ask for. He needs to be cured and get out of there."

*****

Crowley was taken to Dean's office by Ellen, who looked disdainfully at the security chief.

The latter, however, never lost his pose and made a point of giving an order to the housekeeper, only to show who had the power there:

"Honey, could you get me a whiskey? Neat. That brand Mr. Winchester keeps only for himself... "

"Why..." she snorted angrily. Resuming her composure, she nodded, remembering that Castiel's future was at stake. She had grown fond of the sweet man who slept in Dean's room. He was kind and respectful and showed great appreciation for the owner of the house. Dean deserved to have someone like that in his life, if only to make him think more consciously about what he was doing.

Ellen announced the newcomer and retired to attend the request of the man in black suit.

“Mr. Winchester. I'm surprised by your... invitation. I can’t imagine what this visit will be about. "

"Sit down, Crowley. The situation is much more complicated than you think. "

Dean devoted the next few minutes to telling Crowley what had happened and the unfolding of the case. He also told about his research and what he had discovered about Castiel.

Although he expected to see surprise in the face of the man sitting in front of him, this never happened.

"Well, I see the rumors are true about the methods of the New York Dollhouse. Unconventional methods... Risky. "

"I need to get in touch with Ash. No Josie Sands around. First we need to restore his personality, cure him of his psychopathy and then I intend to have him released him from his contract. Can you help me?"

"I hope you know that you plan won't be easy... It won’t be cheap either." Crowley replied with a smile.

"I know that and I'm willing to pay whatever it takes. He needs to get out of there. ASAP."

"Your 'friend' must be very good in bed so that you are willing to pay for his release..." He said, his shameless stare fixed on Dean.

In a second Dean had his hands on his starched collar.

"That's not it! He is a hero and he is there against his will! Shouldn’t we think of him as a human being?"

"Hmmm, I see someone developed a conscience... Well, count on my help. I know how to proceed and no later than tomorrow I will have news. I hope you intend to pay for my service what you intend to pay the Dollhouse, Winchester. "

Sipping the remnants of the drink Ellen had brought him, he rose and went to the door. Dean didn’t answer when he said goodbye.

*****

Dean found Castiel sitting in front of the TV again. He gave Dean a slight smile and turned his attention back to what he was watching. He was still wearing one of Dean's pajamas, which Ellen had given him when he arrived. It was loose, his pants too long, falling in folds around his bare feet.

Sitting down next to him, he pretended to be interested in the program. But he was staring at the dark-haired man. He was even more handsome now that he was relatively relaxed. Dean immediately reprimanding himself for his inadequate thoughts, he cleared his throat.

"Cas... would you like to get out of this room a little? Aren’t you tired of staying here? "

"I can go out? How about them? They shouldn’t get me, Dean! "He said, alarmed.

"They won’t be able to find you in the kitchen. Ellen already told me that the kitchen is a safe area. They won’t come near you, Cas. Never again. "He swallowed audibly. "I won’t let it happen."

"If you say it's safe... I’ll go. With you."

Dean got up and headed for the door. He opened a crack and looked both ways. He motioned for the other to approach. He pointed to the pair of slippers that were near the bed. Castiel put them on and they left the room. After a few steps, Dean was surprised by a hand that crept between his fingers. He could only hold it tight and try not to feel so contemptible.

Ellen disguised a smile as she saw them enter the kitchen holding hands.

"Hello, Castiel. I see Dean sent you my message. Would you like something to eat? "

"Hello, Ellen. I could eat something... couldn’t I, Dean? "He looked at him as if asking for permission.

"Of course, Cas, sit here." Dean released his hand, but then gently held Castiel's strong shoulders against the back of the chair.

The housekeeper saw the protective gesture. She couldn’t help wishing that Dean would find someone who could be as important in his life as Castiel was revealing himself. Someone else, though. Castiel would never meet Dean again when he was released. Dean had pointed this out when he told her his plan. Ellen understood what motivated her boss, but she couldn’t help but wish... the two of them should meet again, under other circumstances. There was something there - something that didn’t go unnoticed to her eyes.


	10. Chapter 10

Crowley called the next day as promised. Ash could meet Dean in one of his rare days off, which would take place in two days. They arranged a meeting in a quiet place where they could talk without interruption.

The programmer was extremely surprised by Dean's revelation. Visibly upset, he asked:

"This is absurd! What do you intend to do about it, Mr. Winchester? "

"Well... I need your help. I thought about taking him back to the Dollhouse, at a time when it goes unnoticed. You'll tell me when. Then you'll program him again as Angel, but only for a short period of time. "

"And then?"

"It’s not ideal, but I need you to avoid him having other assignments for a while. He needs to stay in the house. He may have another crisis, we don’t know... In the meantime, I will negotiate with Sands to cancel his contract. You will restore the original personality, of course, healing his psychological problems. "

 "But... and when he's released... how... I don’t understand..."

 "You didn’t let me finish. You will restore his original personality by adding memories of a life that he didn’t live but which will fill the time that has passed after being taken from the psychiatric institution. It is not ideal, as I said, but it is what we can do. I don’t want him to remember anything of this period, nothing of what happened to him. Not even me. "

"I understand. I suppose you will provide housing and work for him. "

"Yes, I'll see to that. We just need to create the story he's going to have as a memory. "

"You can count on me, I'll do my best."

When Dean tried to talk about payment, the programmer cut him off abruptly. He felt responsible and refused to receive any money. Dean could see that he was, after all, a man of some principles. Perhaps the whole story had the same effect on Ash.

*****

Dean woke again in Castiel's arms and the feeling, as always, pleased him a lot. He was startled, however, to realize that the other man's body was reacting quite perceptibly, albeit involuntarily, to their proximity.

He tried to ignore that his own body reacted in a similar way and slowly moved away from the solid heat behind him. He disengaged himself from Cas’ arms and rose, without waking Castiel. He took refuge in the bathroom, feeling, equally embarrassed and excited. He leaned against the door and inhaled, trying to calm himself down.

He had been attracted to the man from the first time he had seen his photo. It was undeniable. But to the relief of his conscience, nothing had happened between them.

It was an empty feeling, though. For even if they had not done anything to be ashamed of, the very fact that they had ‘hired’ a human being (or several in his case) to meet their needs and desires made him feel despicable.

Looking at the polished stone floor, he saw his own reflection. He closed his eyes, trying to escape from that reproachable face.

The worst, though, wasn’t that. It was that twinge in his chest that came when he thought he could never see Castiel again. That nothing could happen between them. Never. His heart throbbed at the possibility of living the rest of his life with... yes, he had to admit... with a feeling he could never fully live. He would have to continue existing, knowing the true nature of the affection he dedicated to Castiel without ever being able to reveal it to anyone.

Reflecting for a moment, he concluded that he would still be in debt to Cas. And to all the others. He could never repair all the harm he caused. He would carry the guilt throughout his life, and he knew that, even if he let go of what he felt for Castiel, that would never be able of acquitting him.

He washed his face and, making sure that the reaction he had to the other man's warmth disappeared (self-contempt ended it in a short time), returned to the room to find him still asleep.

Dean sat on the couch and began to think in more detail about the story he had created with Sam to be implanted in Castiel's mind. He hated having to create another lie, but this time they thought it would be an act of mercy. If Cas remembered everything and wanted to take some action against the Dollhouse or the hospital he had been in, it could cause trouble. Those people were powerful. And he deserved to have a life back. Not his, exactly, but a life. Cas deserved to live, to meet someone, maybe get married... Children. He should have children. He would be a good father.

Dean’s eyes slid back toward the bed. Cas’ face was relaxed against the large pillow, his hair a mess... Everything he saw was pleasant and Dean wanted to run his fingers through his hair, touch his face, kiss those pink lips.

He continued in his daydream until the one he admired in silence moved, stretching slowly. Then their eyes met and the usual smile formed on his face. Dean was always the recipient, no one else. And that at the same time made him feel happy and guilty.

 Dean sat on the edge of the bed and said softly,

 "Good morning, Cas. Did you sleep well?"

 "Yes, I slept very well. I like to sleep here. Can I always sleep here, with you? "

 Dean cleared his throat awkwardly, then said,

 "While you are here, you will always sleep with me. I'll protect you, won’t I? "

 Cas shook his head and continued to smile softly.

 "Cas, how about... let's go get breakfast and then hang out? How about a drive in the Impala? "

 "Leave? Get out of the house? Dean... you can’t… Don’t let me out of here! They'll get me, they shouldn’t catch me! I'm Castiel, I can’t forget... No... No... "

Dean was trying to get him out for a drive, anticipating the next day, when Dean would have to hand him over to the Dollhouse. If he wanted to make it a moment of relaxation for the two before the separation, no one needed to know. Cas' reaction, however, worried him. He was trembling, after several days of complete tranquility. He was looking at Dean with big eyes, asking silently for help.

Dean could do nothing less than bring the other closer to his chest and whisper words of comfort.

Dean heard a light knock on the door and said, without letting go of Castiel, that the person should enter.

This time not only Ellen, but Sam was there. His brother was surprised to see Cas' emotional state and to find Dean comforting him by holding him close to his body.

"Good morning, Dean. Cas. I brought breakfast... "Ellen said, approaching. "Are you all right, Cas?"

Castiel nodded, still clinging to Dean's chest. Dean tried to move away, but the other man's arms tightened around his waist.

"Okay, Ellen, we're just a little agitated at the prospect of going out... No, no, we're staying here, Cas. You don’t want to, we'll stay here. Ellen, Sam and I are here, nothing bad will happen to you. "

 "Ellen... and Sam... and you. Will you protect me? "

 Ellen touched his dark hair affectionately, a gentle smile on her lips. She was going to miss him.

 "Would you like some juice? Sit up straight and I'll give you the tray. "

 At the housekeeper's comforting gesture, he let Dean go and sat down, leaning against the pillow the other had packed for him.

 Sam looked worriedly at his brother.

 But Dean knew what to do.

*****

Throughout the day, their routine unfolded as planned. Except for going to the kitchen, because Castiel was now afraid to leave the room. Dean stayed with him most of the time, and when he needed to leave, he asked the housekeeper to stay there for a while.

In the afternoon Sam came back with a message from Crowley. He asked for an exorbitant amount for his help in the case. If Dean had to pay that and the Dollhouse a similar amount, he would surely take a large chunk of his money.

Dean knew that. He also knew how much his addiction to the Dollhouse Actives had already caused too much harm.

When it would be over, Dean would still have a reasonable fortune, having to sell the house and probably part of his collection. He could live with less, he knew, having been brought up in a much simpler environment. He would survive, he had no doubt. He would give all his money, all of it, if it were necessary to free Cas from that captivity in which he wasn’t even aware he was.

Sam also brought a sedative that would be administered to Castiel the next morning, so he could be removed from the house. Ash would be ready to welcome him without the presence of Josie Sands, who would be away from headquarters, by Crowley's action.

Dean knew that everything would work out. But that didn’t prevent him from feeling sad at Castiel's departure.

*****

Dean entered the room and found Cas sitting on the bed. He had a classic cars magazine in his hands and he seemed amused.

He approached Cas, sitting down beside him.

"Do you like the Corvette? It's a great car."

"I really like it. The red one is more beautiful than the black one, don’t you think? "

"Um, I like black. Do you remember the Impala? "

"Oh, yes, the Impala is beautiful. I like it too. "

"You know, there's a Corvette in my garage. It is yellow, though. I have several classic cars if you like them."

"You have? Where? Would you show me?"

"Yes, if you want to. But they’re out of the house. "

"Out there?" Fear was back, but curiosity seemed to win the inner battle. "If... you hold my hand and we make no noise... do you think we can go there?"

"I’ll hold your hand. And no noise. I guarantee."

They walked slowly out of the room, hands clasped together. That gesture touched Dean's heart, knowing that his touch and closeness were capable of making Cas overcome his fears.

Dean opened the back door of the house and gently pulled Castiel. He was standing in the doorway, staring into the night with wide eyes.

The path to the garage was lit by little lights along the stone trail. Dean pointed out:

"See that building? That's where the cars are. The Corvette too, come on, let's take a look. "

A small step toward Dean and Cas let himself be led into the garage. As they entered, Cas acted as if it were the first time, as if he had never set foot there. He didn’t recognize anything.

He let go of Dean's hand and turned to the Corvette, the flashy color catching his attention.

Cas looked at his friend as if asking for permission, and at Dean's gentle gaze, he ran his finger along the metal, approaching the driver's door. He opened it and with a mischievous smile, got inside.

A moment later Dean was sitting in the passenger seat explaining the equipment.

"Do you like it, Cas? It’s beautiful, isn’t it? "

Cas shook his head, interested in the dashboard. He was fascinated.

"The radio works, you know?" He said, turning it on and turning the volume down, only to find it static. "Wait...just a second."

They stayed there for some time, just the chords of the song resounding in the ample space of the garage. Castiel's eyes were lost outside. After a while, he said:

"I'm cold, Dean."

Dean smiled and pulled him close, enveloping his shoulders. Castiel snuggled against his body and fell asleep.

A tear trickled down Dean’s freckled face as he thought this was one of the last memories he would have of the man who had made so many changes in his life. He held him a little tighter and buried his nose in Cas’ soft hair.


	11. Chapter 11

Ellen woke them up the next morning. It was the first time she had the opportunity to see them asleep. She couldn’t help but smile at the protective manner in which Dean embraced Castiel, their bodies close together, their faces on the same pillow, the freckled man's nose very close to Cas’ dark hair.

Without knowing, for a moment, what to do, she left the room again. Since they had not heard her knocking before, she struck harder, waited a few minutes, and as he entered the room, this time he found Dean seated, leaning against the headboard, stretching. Castiel had hidden his face under the sheet, trying to avoid awakening.

Dean touched his shoulder, shaking it lightly. He knew what Ellen brought: the juice contained the sedative  that would be given to Castiel, so that he could be transported to the Dollhouse without problems.

The owner of the house felt terrible about having to do that, but there was no other way. They had to enter quietly in the building. Crowley had arranged for them to enter through an alternate door known only to the highest officials. Sam would help him carry the inert man, who would be taken directly to Ash's laboratory.

Castiel smiled as he received the tray containing his breakfast. Dean allowed himself to be bask in the sight in front of him. He didn’t expect to see the handsome man again, much less in such an intimate situation. His eyes didn’t leave the face that affected him in so many different ways. He wanted to keep every detail in his memory.

After a few moments, Castiel sipped the orange juice. He ate a piece of croissant. Another sip of juice. A satisfied smile at Dean, another sip. He didn’t suspect anything. He finished eating, and before Dean could look at him any longer, he was unconscious on the sheets.

Dean pressed the button beside the bed. He knew that in a few minutes Ellen and Sam would be in the bedroom. He leaned forward, ran his palm over Cas’ stubble and his lips touched for a moment those of the man who had chastely shared his bed the last few nights. He would, no doubt, miss his presence.

He pulled away quickly, and by the time they had arrived he had already put on his own pants and was buttoning his shirt. Ellen had in her arms the outfit worn earlier by Jimmy, clean and pressed. Sam immediately began to remove Castiel's pajamas to dress him with what he would wear to return to the Dollhouse. Dean couldn’t help the wave of jealousy that hit him, but trying to control himself, he said,

"Sam, please… leave. I will do this. I need you to call Crowley and confirm Sands' absence. And then send Ash a message, confirming our arrival at the estimated time, OK? "

Sam noticed the possessiveness in Dean's tone and shook his head, retreating into the hallway as he reached into his back pocket.

Ellen picked up the tray and left. She understood what Dean needed to do.

He just unbuttoned the top of Cas' pajamas, revealing a white undershirt. It showed a slender abdomen and shapely arms. He pulled his trousers down. His boxers were also white, and their legs were covered in fine dark hair. Dean tried not to get distracted by the Active's body, but it was difficult for him not to get lost in fantasies, for that was all he had left.

Taking a deep breath, he resumed his activity, initially putting on his socks, then his jeans. He thought about the irony of dressing Castiel up, when what he most wanted was to undress him.

He pressed the limp body to his chest so he could slip the polo shirt over Cas’ head. Stretching it, he ran his palms over his chest and stomach, appreciating the solidity and warmth emanating from his body. Immediately he felt guilty for abusing the other man's trust. He had not done it before, he wouldn’t do it now.

When Sam came back, he was tying Cas' shoes. He got up and looked at his brother, who nodded and informed him that everything was going as expected.

They both suspended him and carried him to the rental car Sam called. Better not to attract suspicion.

When the Active was in the backseat, the two brothers looked at each other. Sam started the engine. Soon the plan would be in motion.

*****

Ash looked pale. He met them at the private elevator door that led directly to the room where the imprinting equipment was located.

Then Castiel was on the recliner and his head rested on the cushioned surface beneath the metal half-circle, from which emanated the electromagnetic impulses that would transfer Angel's ‘personality’ to his mind.

He would then be revived, to avoid suspicion on the part of Sands. Ash had already scheduled a three-day period for routine physical exams to avoid Angel being sent in any other contract.

Dean saw him lying there and decided to stay to check the progress of the process, although Sam urged him to leave the laboratory as soon as possible.

Ash didn’t object to Dean staying and immediately put the equipment into operation. The inert body stiffened for a few moments, as though it were pierced by an electric current. Dean knew that wasn’t the case, but he shivered anyway.

The programmer observed the images and numbers displayed on the various screens around him and took a syringe containing the drug that would counteract the tranquilizer effect. In one practiced but unsteady move he injected the contents into Castiel's arm.

Dean and Sam watched from a distance, eager for the result.

They didn’t have to wait long, for Castiel, or rather Angel, returned to consciousness.

"Did I fall asleep?" He asked sleepily.

"Yes, for a little while" Ash answered as usual.

When he woke up he seemed not to be in full control of his motor functions and the programmer made him lie down again. Dean, worried, stepped forward and when Angel saw him, he stopped, saying in his deep, familiar voice:

"Hello. I'm Angel. "

Dean couldn’t answer. He became livid and walked away, leaving the room. Sam apologized and went after his brother.

The Active, which now looked slowly back to Ash, asked:

"Who is he?"

"No one," he said. "He’s not important."

*****

The next day, Dean had a meeting with Sands. Sam accompanied him, as his legal adviser.

"Forgive me, Mr. Winchester... Your proposal surprises me."

"There's no reason for that, Mrs. Sands. I want Angel's contract over. I'll pay for it. You could say that I am finally aware of the immorality of this business. He seems to be a good man and deserves his freedom. "

"I understand... However... I can’t help but wonder why Angel, not Tango, being her your 'favorite' for so long… I'm just... curious" she said, the cold smile unable to hide her annoyance with the situation.

"Tango is young, she has her whole life ahead of her. Angel is already at an age when he should be spared this exploitation, even if he has volunteered for it. "

"I see. Well, Mr. Winchester, it will take at least two days before our lawyers can send you a proposal. "

"Mrs. Sands... Josie. I am a busy man and I would like to resolve this matter today. I would be extremely pleased if when I leave this building, the matter in question would be closed. " Saying this, he discreetly pressed a button on the phone in his pocket.

The cell phone on Sands' desk vibrated. She turned, annoyed. Dean hastened to say,

"No problem, you can answer it."

When he took the device in her hands, he saw that it was a text message from the man sitting in front of her.

"An equal amount to the termination of the contract will be given to you if the matter is resolved today. My lawyer should not know. "

“Mr. Winchester, I believe I had an idea, if you'll wait a second- " She got up and left the room.

A few minutes later she returned accompanied by a middle-aged man. He was holding a copy of a standard Dollhouse contract, which he handed to Dean after a brief greeting.

Sam read it and made some requests, with which the company's lawyer agreed. Sands made him sit at her table and immediately change it. The new contract printed, it was promptly signed and Dean transfered the due amount to the Dollhouse.

Josie Sands held out her hand, smiling.

"I hope you are satisfied with our negotiation, Mr. Winchester. I feel sorry for losing a customer so dear to our company. "

Dean discreetly handed her a check, closing his share of the deal.

"Goodbye, Mrs. Sands. Thank you."

*****

When Sam learned about it, he was furious. He didn’t understand why Dean had been so impetuous, spending so much more than he would have to. With Crowley's pay the bill almost hit the stratosphere. It would have a considerable impact on his brother's finances.

"Sam, please. I did what was necessary. I've already put my collection up for sale. I'm almost closing the deal with Degli Angeli, who will get most of it, only a few cars are left, but I already have buyers in sight. I just won’t let go of the Impala and the Corvette 64. "

"Corvette? Why? What's so special about it? "

Dean hesitated. He finally replied:

"He belongs to Cas. I have already transferred it to his name and he will have it in his new life. I want him to have it. It was what he liked the most in my collection. "

Sam looked at him intently, but said nothing. He was impressed by the extent of the impact Castiel had on his brother.


	12. Chapter 12

Castiel Novak woke up from what looked like a dream.

He was in a strange place, he couldn’t remember never having been there. A beautiful red-haired woman stood in front of him, perfect teeth on display.

“Mr. Novak. Allow me to accompany you." Rising from the sofa, he received a blue suitcase. Castiel let himself be led to a glass elevator. "Nice day, isn’t it?" She asked.

Castiel felt disoriented. He remembered the psychiatric hospital. It wasn’t where he was now. Maybe he had been transferred and didn’t remember. Better not to say anything.

Arriving at the basement of the building, the door opened and a tall, long-haired man was waiting for them. He shook hands with both of them and smiled at Castiel. He wasn’t wearing a white coat, just wearing jeans and a plaid shirt.

"Jared will take you to your house, Mr. Novak."

Castiel shook his head and the smiling man took the small suitcase from his hands.

"This way, Mr. Novak."

He followed, not looking back. That woman made him feel uncomfortable.

"The trip will be a little long, Mr. Novak. Anything, just let me know, okay? "

"Where are we going?" He asked, a little afraid.

"To your house, remember?" Said the driver.

He thought for a moment, but he didn’t want to look confused.

"Yes, I remember. I live in Boston. "

"Naturally."

But this was not the fate that awaited him. Dean had got an apartment and a job for him in Kansas City. Far away from Boston and New York. Sam offered him a drink.

Castiel accepted the water bottle and for the second time he was drugged by the Winchester brothers. They did it with the best of intentions, though.

Sam went to Dean's house and met him standing outside the gate, pacing impatiently.

He circled the car and glanced at Castiel, unconscious again. His face betrayed his feelings and Sam tried not to show that he had noticed.

They put Cas in the backseat and Dean deliberated whether to stay with him in the event of an emergency. But he didn’t want to expose himself to his brother mocking and then he occupied the passenger seat.

The trip to their destination would take a little more than eight hours and Dean hoped the sedative they had given him would be enough.

*****

The building was located on a quiet street. They parked the car and Dean noticed that Castiel was still unconscious. He got out of the car and opened the back door. He and Sam carried Castiel upstairs to the nice second floor apartment.

Sam opened the door. The two carried him inside, accommodating him on the couch. Sam looked around and approved the place where Castiel would live from there. Dean had had the property furnished in a simple but comfortable way. He had thought of Castiel's well-being in every possible way.

Dean left the living room and walked to the bedroom. He turned on the light and looked around. Several boxes were against the wall. Two suitcases too. Approaching, in the pocket of the larger suitcase he found what he wanted, Castiel's new personal papers, the deed of the apartment, the document proving that the Corvette belonged to him. He also found the letter from the company where Castiel would work from the following week. Dean had discovered that before he was a firefighter, Cas had worked as a construction safety specialist. So it was in one of these companies that he would be employed.

He went to the kitchen and found that they had stocked the refrigerator, as he had requested. It was good to have money and influence, he thought. Too bad this would not last for long. But he thought everything had been for a good cause.

Dean looked at Cas again. He took a cell phone out of his pocket and placed it on the coffee table.

Sam left the apartment minutes before, thinking of giving Dean a few moments to say good-bye to the unconscious man in his own way.

Dean touched his brown hair, enjoying its softness for the last time. He leaned forward and with a deep breath touched Cas's lips lightly with his own. He blinked, swallowing the emotion that was taking hold of him and in determined steps left the apartment.

*****

In a hotel room in Lawrence, Kansas, Dean sat on the bed. He rested his head on his hands. The sadness he felt was immense, but no less than the guilt he carried. Taking a deep breath, he fumbled in his jacket pockets for his cell phone. There was a number registered there, under the initials C.N.

He pressed the button and after a few rings a sleepy voice answered from the other side.

"Hello."

Dean swallowed dryly and in an uncertain voice said only one word:

" _Corvette."_

He finished the call and cleared the cell phone contact without giving himself time to think.


	13. Chapter 13

Castiel was sitting on a couch, slightly dizzy, looking around, not knowing how he got there. The driver had said he would drive him home, but this place...

A wave of panic began to seize him. It was terrifying.

To make matters worse, the sound of the cell phone on the table broke the silence, the vibration causing it to move over the wooden surface.

His wide eyes stared at the object that offended his ears with the shrill noise. He took it in his hands, apprehensive, to note that the designation on the screen was unknown: Impala.

He didn’t know how to handle that  phone... Where was the green button? He ran his fingers over the screen and it appeared as if by magic. Hesitantly, he tightened his grip, cautiously approaching it to his ear, uttering the standard salutation:

"Hello."

A grave, unfamiliar voice uttered only one word, before ending the call:

_"Corvette."_

Cas looked for a moment at the phone in his right hand. It must be a mistake, for the caller hung up before saying anything. He put the phone on the table, stretched for a long time, got up and walked to the refrigerator to get a bottle of water.

The man took two long sips, leaning against the counter. He looked out the window, watching the lights of the cars passing in the street across from his building. He appreciated the tranquility of that residential area. It was so different from his old neighborhood in Boston. He was sure he would like living in Kansas City. A change of scenery after his time at the hospital would only do him good.

He yawned and walked to the bedroom, heading for one of the suitcases. He opened it and pulled out a clean t-shirt and a pair of boxers. He opened one of the cardboard boxes and from inside, he pulled out a plastic bag full of towels. He placed the package on the bed and removed a bath towel. Returning to the suitcase, he reached for his hygiene kit. Armed with what he needed, he went to the bathroom.

After a long shower, during which he found himself humming a song, he brushed his teeth and went to bed. He would take advantage of the next day to get things in order, he knew that in the following week he would start at his new job. He felt good and in peace.

Turning off the bedside lamp, he took a deep breath, turned under the blanket, and in a few moments he was sound asleep.

 


	14. Chapter 14

Sam knew that story was going to wreak havoc on Dean's finances, but when Dean finally revealed the amount he'd paid each of those involved, plus the production of the documents, the purchase and furnishing of Cas' apartment and other expenses, he despaired:

"Dean! How did things come to this state? I never imagined that... "

"Yeah, Sam... I had already spent too much on the Dollhouse, OK? After the last expenses, that's what's left. I'm going to have to sell the house and move to a smaller apartment, but that's okay. I'll still have some money saved, I can look for a consultant job or something. I will be all right. I still have my house, right? "

"But..."

"No, Sam. You work hard, why can’t I do the same? "

The taller man looked at his brother, sitting on the sofa in the huge living room whose large windows faced the beautiful garden. He'd never bothered about anything, he just bought the property because he could afford it and there was space to comfortably store his vintage car collection. Dean wasn’t attached to the house. Well, at least not the way he felt attached to...

He was afraid to ask, but his curiosity was great.

"How is Castiel? Do you know anything? "

"As far as I know, he started at his new job a few weeks ago and is doing well."

"How do you know? Is anyone there keeping an eye on him? "

"Yes, a friend is taking care of it for me. But the transition was fairly easy, in another week he will be back and Castiel can go on by himself. We'll never hear anything about him again. "

"Don’t you feel that..." Sam cleared his throat " you should... keep watching for a little longer?"

"There’s no need. I reported Cas' progress to Ash and he was very pleased with the results. He said I shouldn’t worry. He's a normal, independent person now. "

Sam noticed the shadow that passed over Dean's eyes, but said nothing. He knew how much the other man had affected his brother. He also noticed that he was drinking more than usual, but he knew that if he mentioned anything about it Dean would just walk away. He would have to rely on Ellen to keep Dean in line. Or close to it.

*****

The housekeeper had her back to the door as Sam entered the kitchen. She was cutting some vegetables to roast, knowing he would stay for dinner. The long-haired man approached and touched her shoulder gently.

As she turned, he could tell that her eyes were swollen. She was still worried about her daughter's disappearance.

"Hey... Are you okay?"

"Yes, Sam, just... the usual. Nothing about Jo yet. "

"Victor has not given any information yet? I thought there had been some progress... "

"Dean said he has teamed up with another agent who has been investigating the Dollhouses for some time but hasn’t yet been able to figure out the location of the Las Vegas headquarters. This agent, Ballard, I think, has been investigating Los Angeles for years. It's hard to find out anything without someone inside... Sam! Why didn’t we think about it before? "

"What?"

"We need a customer in Las Vegas! Dean could come in and... "

"Easy, easy, Ellen. We need to think about it... Dean may not... "

"Sam, it's Jo! She's like a sister to you two, I know he'll think about it! "

And, leaving the task unfinished, he ran off to find Dean.

*****

"Sorry... I didn’t think of that, Ellen. You’re right. I can request this information from Sands... Wait here while I'm making the call. "

Sam stood at the door and watched their conversation. Dean didn’t think about that because he had been totally absorbed in Castiel's story. That was one more thing to make him feel guilty, he knew. This was the standard mode of operation of the older Winchester.

Ellen seemed to have relaxed a little and Sam went to sit beside her on the couch. He took her hands and received a hopeful smile.

Dean came back after a few minutes, carrying a piece of paper where he wrote some notes.

"Okay. I have a contact there, it was not easy now that I seem to be on Sands blacklist. I don’t know where the headquarters are, but tomorrow I intend to go there. Sam... I’d like you to go with me. Can I call Jessica and explain it to her? "

"It's not necessary, Dean. If I tell her it's something to do with Jo, she'll agree immediately. She's worried. "

Ellen smiled and got up to hug the boy she loved like a son.

*****

Preparations for the trip to Vegas included several phone calls to the FBI agent who had been investigating for Dean. Victor Henricksen and Paul Ballard, the California agent, had some ideas on how to proceed, but Dean knew that it was safer to act as a client and request the termination of Jo's contract if he found her, as he had done with Castiel. Even if he didn’t have a record in Vegas as he had there, if it were consulted, the Dallas house might attest that he had been a frequent customer, and that when he had wanted an Active released from the contract, he had paid generously for it.

He knew he would give away the rest of his money, but he didn't mind. Not when he had neglected for so long the search for Jo. He would pay as much it was needed, even if it were to break him.

*****

The job of freeing Jo, who was also kept against her will in the Nevada’s Dollhouse, took almost two months and practically the rest of Dean’s fortune. The question of overthrowing that network of abuse and prostitution had become a crusade for Dean, who provided all the information available to the agents. He knew that it would be nearly impossible to destroy such a powerful institution, since it was financed by unscrupulous people, but he had to try.

He had done what he could, but even though he knew two people who mattered to him had managed to get away from it, nothing could erase the guilt he carried. He knew he would carry it for the rest of his life.


	15. Chapter 15

Sam carried the last of the boxes up the stairs. He found Dean standing in the middle of the room, a little disoriented amidst the confusion.

The apartment he had been able to buy, after all, was small. Nothing of the glamour he had been accustomed to in his years of success. He'd been staying at Sam's house for a few months until he'd settled his bills, and now he could live alone again.

Not that Dean needed more. They had been raised by their father after his mother's death in a simple house in a suburb of Dallas, and Dean's talent on the tracks had elevated him to success and wealth.

It felt good to have been able to support his father when he had become ill, to have paid for his brother's studies and to help him in the beginning of his professional life. They were his most important victories, he thought. The rest didn’t matter.

He deliberately ignored the fact that he saved two people he knew from the Dollhouse. Even if he met Jo on a regular basis, he'd asked her not to mention it again, or thank him. She didn’t understand why, but Dean was rather complicated when it came to relationships and she loved him too much to bring it up.

"Well, Dean, do you need anything else? Jes is waiting for me, we have an appointment tonight. "

"No, I was just wondering in which box I put the TV remote..."

The television was the first thing to be unpacked and installed, as well as the video game and the DVD player. That was how he had fun now. He rarely went out, staying hours watching movies or playing video games. Once or twice a week he had dinner at Roadhouse, the restaurant Ellen had opened after Dean sold the house.

During the week he worked with the old friend of the family, Bobby, in his shop. Sometimes he had the opportunity to work on some classic car, putting into practice what he had learned while he had that magnificent collection. He really didn’t miss it. What he missed the most was working on the cars, bringing them back from their pitiful state to the beauty and functionality of when they were new. When customers discovered who he had been, they were surprised. It was difficult to understand that a famous champion like him would take a simple job like that.

But Dean didn’t want to think about anything. He wanted to live in peace and, if possible, to forget. Most of all, he wanted to forget a pair of blue eyes that still pursued him in dreams and that made him wake up panting and lonely.

*****

It was a rainy Monday. To match the adverse conditions, Dean's list today consisted only of routine repairs. Dull work.

He was then half hidden under the hood of an old Honda when Bobby called him.

"Dean... DEAN!"

Lifting his head, he stared at the boss, who seemed to be in a bad mood. _Grumpier than usual_ , he thought. Mondays!

"Yes, yes. What?"

"You have a client here requesting your services. He asked specifically for you. "

"Oh, Bobby, don’t tell me it’s another of those... please spare me this today..."

A couple of months ago E! had broadcast a show about millionaires and famous people who had lost everything or gone into anonymity. Since he fit both categories, there was a segment devoted exclusively to him. He had been asked by the station to give his testimony, but since he had refused, they had done what they wanted with his story, or what was known about it. Since then he had had his share of ‘fans’ coming to the garage. They said they had some mechanical problem, but most of the time they just wanted to take a photo or an autograph of the fallen idol. He hated that. Why wouldn’t people just leave him alone? They looked like vultures.

"No, it looks legitimate; he said he owns a classic car."

"Well, okay then. Send him in. " Who said rainy Mondays couldn’t bring good things after all?

He went to the sink to wash his greasy hands. He heard the door open and said, his back to the door:

"Just a moment."

Taking a half-grimy towel from the hook, he turned as he began to dry his hands. Before he could say anything, the air was expelled from his lungs as if he had been punched.

Standing at the door, a familiar face stared at him. Extremely blue eyes peered at his face as his forehead creased.

*****

Feeling a little dizzy, he leaned against the Honda. The man immediately approached and cautiously touched his arm.

"Are you alright?"

Dean couldn’t answer. The words drifted away from him as the warmth of that touch ran up his arm.

Castiel Novak stood there in front of him and was staring at him in concern. How had this happened?

"Dean?" He said, moving his hand away. The mechanic instantly missed it. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, before he could finally speak, his voice hoarse:

"How... How...?"

"Take a deep breath, it's okay," he said quietly, but it betrayed his concern.

No, it wasn’t all right if Castiel had found him. But he didn’t know if Cas had really recognized him or was just repeating the name of a mechanic he had heard about.

Straining, he cleared his throat. He said, trying to make the voice sound more firm:

"Bobby told me that... you own a classic car... What's the problem?"

"Dean... don’t you know who I am?"

No! He somehow remembered Dean. Everything was ruined.

"I... what should I say, Cas? What do you expect me to say? "

Castiel Novak was the one who seemed to be surprised this time around.

"Cas... I remember someone calling me Cas... Was that you?"

The situation was becoming more and more confused. Dean didn’t understand. Castiel had come looking for him, and now he showed that he didn’t remember him very well. Something must have gone wrong with the program that had been imprinted on him. What should he do?

"Why are you here, Castiel? What do you want from me?"

"I needed... I need to talk to you. There's a lot I need to know. "

"What do you need to know? I don’t understand what you're talking about. "

"Why don’t we go out and talk? What time do you leave work? "

"I leave at six, but..." He started to say and stopped, reflecting. He didn’t want to extend this awkward situation until the end of the day. The sooner he settled the subject the better. "Wait a moment here, Cas... _Castiel_."

He walked to Bobby's office and told him he had to leave for a while. He wanted to go back and finish the job. His boss just shook his head, muttering something unintelligible, but Dean knew it was his reluctant agreement.

He went back to the workshop and took his jacket from the hanger. Looking directly into that face that brought so many painful memories to him, he spoke in a serious tone:

"I can stay away for a while. If you want to talk, we can go. "

"Do you know any place near where we can eat something?"

"There's a restaurant around the corner if you're up for something simple."

"I don’t know anything here in Dallas. It’s fine for me. "

"OK. Come."

They approached the door of Benny's Diner and Dean opened it, holding it open so that Castiel could enter. He thanked him with a small nod.

They sat down at one of the tables, the restaurant being almost empty at that hour. It was too early for lunch.

The waitress came up smiling and Dean asked,

“Hi! Coffee? Something to eat? "

Castiel answered first.

"Coffee is great. And some toast. "

"Just coffee for me," Dean told the girl, in reality needing something much stronger.

Castiel had his eyes fixed on him. Dean tried to look away, tried to escape from the abyss that called him.

"Dean... I'm calling you Dean but I do not really know why... May I call you Dean?"

"I don’t see why not. But I notice that although you know my name you’re not sure if you know me... "

"It's just... you'll think I'm crazy... if I tell you," he said, looking suddenly at the hands he had rested on the table.

"Try me."

"My story is complicated... I'm sorry to say that, but... it includes psychiatric hospitalization." He stopped, waiting for some reaction and quickly completed "But don’t be alarmed, I have no history of violence or anything like that. Post-Traumatic Stress Syndrome, was my diagnosis. I have no intention of doing you any harm. "

Dean showed no surprise at the fact and Castiel wondered if somehow he already knew about it.

"I live in Kansas City. I have a good job, I live in a comfortable apartment. All was well until one day when I woke up... I saw a face… in my mind. A face unknown to me but whose memory no longer abandoned me. "

Dean remained in silence so Castiel continued:

"Every day I would wake up with the memory of this face... I think you correctly assumed I'm talking about your face, Dean. Not that I knew it was yours then, nor I knew your name. You were always there and although, at first, it had made me uneasy, with the passing of the days your face became more and more familiar. Gradually you stopped being a stranger to being someone I felt safe with. "

“So?"

"It sounds crazy, doesn’t it? Well, one day the face came with a name: Dean. Only Dean. I started to wonder if I had met you in the hospital... I don’t remember much about that time, it's kind of foggy. "

Dean looked at him, tense, but said nothing. Castiel was beginning to lose confidence.

"I think I'm scaring you. If you want, you can go... Sorry for bothering you with this nonsense. "

"How did you find me here? Only my face and my first name are no indication of anything. "

"Well... I don’t have many friends, I hardly go out... So I watch a lot of TV and..."

"You can stop there. _E!_ , I know… Damn! "

"That's right. When I saw your face in that show, I could hardly believe it! You were real and the name was really yours... But you still wasn’t sure how I knew you. That's what I need you to clarify for me. That's why I came looking for you. "

Dean's mind worked quickly, trying to come up with a plausible story. Telling the truth was not an alternative.

Fortunately, an idea crossed his mind and he breathed in relief:

"Well, it's simple. You own a classic car, don’t you? A 64 yellow Corvette. "

"Yes, it's my car! How do you know?"

"I am its former owner... You can look at the transfer documents. D. Winchester. It's me."

At the same time Castiel looked relieved and disappointed.

"That's it, then. My Corvette belonged to you... "

"Yes, it was mine. In that infamous program, do you remember they talking about my classic cars collection? Your Corvette was part of it. "

"It’s funny I don’t remember the transaction... But I'm glad I finally solved the mystery. Thank you, Dean. I'm sorry if I startled you. "

"No problem, Castiel, these things happen... But tell me, how's the car? In good condition, I hope. "

"I take good care of it, it's my favorite belonging. I don’t really value material goods, but the Corvette... It's special. Would you... like to see it? "

"Would I..." His rational mind told him to go back to the workshop and close the subject there, but his heart begged him to agree. "... of course I'd like to see it again. Is it around? "

"It's in the parking lot of the hotel where I'm staying. It's not far, just a few blocks away. If you want, we can go see it right now. That is… if you can. "

Dean looked at his watch, as if evaluating the option. He didn’t need to tell Cas that he could go back any time he wanted.

"Um, maybe."

They paid the bill and left. From time to time, Dean looked casually at Castiel, appreciating how good he looked. And in excellent shape, he had to admit, he should continue exercising, as in the time he lived at the... No, he wouldn’t even think about it.

They walked in silence to where the car was. Dean could already see him from a distance, the bright shade of yellow differentiating it from the other cars parked in the yard.

"There it is," said Castiel, smiling broadly.

Dean also smiled and nodded. His chest tightened as he remembered the only time they had both been inside that car.

Castiel skirted the far side and stopped at the driver's door. Dean looked at the old car covered in small droplets of rain that had fallen before. He rested his hand on the hood, as if caressing a pet.

"Let's go in, it's starting to rain again," the owner said, turning the key in the lock.

Dean tried to refuse the offer, but there was no escape. It had started to rain again.

Sitting side by side, listening to the raindrops hit the roof of the car, Dean and Castiel looked at each other. The memory in Dean's mind was very vivid: his arms wrapped around the other man's shoulders, Cas' head pressed against his chest... The soft sound of his breath, the pleasant scent of his hair... Dean closed his eyes for a moment, wishing the gesture would go unnoticed.

"You miss it, don’t you?" Castiel said softly, misunderstanding Dean's reaction.

"Actually..." he cleared his throat "... I do. I miss it… immensely. "Castiel didn’t need to know what Dean was talking about.

"Um, it must have been hard to let go of the things you had. I can imagine."

"It was very difficult," he said, raising his eyes to meet the eyes that never left his memory. "But life goes on. I shouldn’t be complaining. I have a lot to be thankful for, actually. "

"It's a positive attitude, good to know you think like that." For a moment the silence grew heavy, Castiel couldn’t quite understand why. His fingers went to the radio and he turned it on.

"Let me find..." turning the dial, he went through several stations until the chords of ‘Stairway to Heaven’ were recognizable. He stopped there and turned the volume knob a little, looking at Dean with a smile, humming the tune.

The song known and of so much meaning to him was what shattered that moment. It was too much. Dean opened the door in spite of the rain and hurried out, mumbling,

"Sorry, I didn’t notice the time. I have to get back to work. Thanks for letting me see it again, Castiel. Good bye."

"Dean, wait..." Castiel answered by opening the door and getting out of the car. "I can take you to the workshop..." But the other had already run away, pulling the jacket over his head.

Castiel sat back in the driver's seat and closed the door. The music kept playing and he wondered why it made him feel that way. He also didn’t understand why he felt strangely attracted to Dean and how comforting his presence was to him. Nothing made sense. Just a business transaction? Buying and selling a car? It was not possible.

He needed to return to Kansas City, but he couldn’t do it yet. He hadn’t reached the bottom of this story.

And secretly he wanted to meet Dean again... He would stay a few more days.


	16. Chapter 16

Dean went back to work, but he couldn’t concentrate. He was working on that crappy car for much longer than would ordinarily be necessary. By the end of the day, he was greeted by Bobby's grumpy face. He had other plans for Dean's efforts that day and they were clearly not going to happen.

"May I ask if that customer will bring his car here? The one you checked out with and came back soaking wet? "

"No, Bobby, it's not a job for us."

"Boy, don’t give me that, how come it's not for us?"

"It turns out he has a classic car, but nothing is wrong. The guy is another crazy fan that came because of the program. "

"Harumpf!" Grunted the old man who was like an uncle to Dean. An extremely grumpy uncle. "How much longer will I have to put up with this nonsense?"

"You? I'm the one who got to deal with all the creeps who want a piece of me! "

"Oh? Well, if I may... you were the one who seemed to want a piece of someone today... Don’t look me that way! I have eyes, Dean. Do you have anything else to tell me? "

Passing his newly washed hand over his face, he replied grudgingly:

"Look, Bobby... Let it go. We won’t see him again, okay? "

"Okay. But if he or any other of those losers comes back here to disrupt the service I will take it off your paycheck. Just so you know. "

The mechanic shook his head. In the end his boss was right, he shouldn’t hurt the workshop business.

He took the jacket that was still wet and was leaving when he heard from the office:

"If you need to talk, you can come and talk to me, you idjit. After work, of course! "

He smiled to himself, wondering how much he wanted to share the story with Bobby. But he couldn’t. He definitely shouldn’t.

*****

Castiel leaned back on the hotel's hard bed and thought.

Dean seemed to have been extremely annoyed when he arrived at the workshop. He had called him by a nickname that no one had ever used but which sounded perfect in his voice. And inside the Corvette... Castiel could feel something almost palpable in the air. And finally, the Led Zeppelin song. That had seemed to be the last straw for the mechanic.

There was much more there than a simple business transaction. Why did he feel so attracted to Dean? He wouldn’t be more than a face and a name, but to Castiel... It had been a reassuring image when he felt distressed or worried. How many times - he hadn’t told Dean that, how could he? - he had awakened from the vivid recollection of a dream where Dean had his arms around him, his face close, his hands in Cas hair? Much less could he share what he had done after those dreamlike images in the stillness of the night.

Castiel had a much greater problem than he had imagined. If he had thought that Dean was a fantasy of his imagination, a creation of his sick mind, he couldn’t believe it anymore. Dean was real. He was strong, handsome… perfect. Much more than Cas' mind had shown him.

He was a memory. A very important memory for his brain to discard. Dean had remained in his thoughts when so many others things had vanished, taken away by medicine and therapy.

Castiel needed to know more about the man who had brought him here. How would he do that?

*****

Dean sat on the couch after a quick shower. He wasn’t hungry. He switched on the television, but his mind wasn’t on anything except what had happened that morning.

Castiel's visit had left him completely bewildered. He hoped he had been able to convince Cas that nothing had happened between them, just the purchase of the car.

The truth was he desperately wanted to be with Cas again. Just to hear that deep voice and see that face he loved so much. The notion that it was love what he felt for Cas slowly came to him, over the months in which they had been apart, and though he had initially tried to deny it, he could no longer do it. He felt his absence deep in the fibers of his being and had tried to convince himself that he would never see Cas again.

Seeing him so close had been hard. All he wanted now was to go to the hotel where they were earlier, praying to still meet him there. He wanted to have Cas in his arms and kiss him until they were panting, wanting more. He wanted to undress Cas slowly, revealing every aspect of that body he had just glimpsed, learning at last how to make him feel good. He desperately wanted to sleep again in those arms.

He rested his head on his fists and suppressed a sob. Then his hand reached out toward the bottle on the coffee table.

*****

Dean woke up in the living room, his face crumpled against one of the sofa cushions. His head ached. He remembered the whiskey and tried to stand up slowly. Leaning against the wall, he went to the bathroom and swallowed two aspirins, drinking the water from the tap. His mouth was bitter, he wanted to throw up.

He remembered what had brought him here, and for a moment he wished again for forgetfulness.

It was morning, he imagined what time it would be. He cursed when he saw that it was past lunchtime. He reached for his cell phone and found a lost call from his boss.

He returned the call and when he heard the voice on the other side Dean said:

"Bobby? It’s Dean. I don’t think I can work today... "

"I think I've already figured you're not here, idjit! What happened?"

"I’m not feeling well, I think the rain… yesterday... I'll lie down and tomorrow I'll be brand new. Take it from my paycheck, right? "

"I should let you go, really... But I'll give you another chance. I want you here really early tomorrow. "

"Okay,  Bobby. And don’t give my appointments to that Gordon jerk, please…"

"Gordon is an asshole, but he doesn’t get sick because he goes out for coffee with crazy fans, right? Get well and we'll talk tomorrow, boy. "

He walked to the bedroom and lay down again. It was going to be a long day.

*****

Across the street, Castiel watched the entrance to the workshop. He had arrived early. He saw the steel doors being raised, the employees arriving one by one. But there was no sign of Dean.

He had lunch at another nearby restaurant, fearing that someone would recognize him from the previous day at Benny's Diner. The afternoon passed and seeing that the workshop was closing had the confirmation that Dean wouldn’t come that day.

He returned to the hotel, disappointed. What could have happened?

*****

The next day Castiel was at the same place at the same time. The Singer Auto shop was opening.

Just before eight o'clock, an old black car pulled up to the outside parking area. To Castiel's relief, the driver of the beautiful vehicle was Dean. He got out, locked the driver's door, checked the other doors, and walked with his head down to the side entrance.

The heart of the tall, dark-haired man sitting across the street in a rented car brightened at the image of the man who lived in his dreams day and night.

He thought of staying there until Dean left, but from then on he didn’t know what he should do. Should he approach Dean right there on the street? Should he follow him to his house and knock on the door? All that made him feel like a maniac.

He was prepared for a long day of waiting. But remembering that the freckled face and the warm smile were inside that old brick building, the wait didn’t seem so tedious.


	17. Chapter 17

Dean left work shortly after seven and walked to the Impala. Castiel started the engine, ready to follow him.

He had decided to approach him at home, despite the risks involved. Maybe Dean wouldn’t open the door for him, he would call the police... But he was willing to try. He had to find out their past, why he felt the way he felt about the other man.

Discreetly, he followed behind the Impala, letting other cars interpose between their two cars. Cas followed him for several blocks, until the black car stopped. Castiel passed him and luckily there was another spot just ahead. He watched Dean close the vehicle and cross the street, into a narrow alley. He let him go and soon walked the same route. In the parallel street to which they left the cars there was a restaurant called Roadhouse and it was in him that Dean entered.

Castiel waited a few minutes and walked in too, trying not to be noticed. What he needed to do shouldn’t happen in a public place, so he would remain hidden until Dean left.

Cas hoped Dean would go home, but he had other ideas. Castiel now saw a beautiful young blonde who was talking to him at the table. She kissed him on the cheek and touched his arm, showing familiarity. Dean had his back to him and there was no telling what his reaction was.

The pang of jealousy Cas felt was something new. It was further proof to him that something else had happened between them in the past. When and how... that's what he needed to find out.

The same young woman came to take his order shortly afterwards and he had to refrain from being rude. He ordered a coffee and a piece of pie, insisting to pay in advance for it if he had to hurry up to follow Dean. The waitress smiled and took the money offered, thanking him for the tip.

He took the book he had been reading all afternoon, hiding behind it and watched as a mature woman on the counter came out and came to greet Dean, sitting with him for a few minutes. When the waitress brought the meal, Castiel realized that the woman was scolding him for drinking.

He finished his meal and sat there reading. He was distracted for a moment and Dean was gone! He rose quickly to look around and noticed that the table he'd once occupied contained only empty plates and glasses.

What he didn’t see was the surprised look on the face of the owner of the establishment, who immediately came to him.

"Castiel! What are you doing here?"

"Sorry... do you know me?" He asked angrily, now divided between following Dean wherever he went and talking to the person who had recognized him.

"You don’t remember me. But if you came after Dean, it can’t be a coincidence... "

"Who are you? And how do you know me? " Cas said, deciding to talk to the woman. She could give him more information than Dean had intended to.

"You really don’t remember me... Well, that's the way it should be. I don’t understand how you remember Dean... " she said, frowning. "It was not supposed to be like this."

"What should not happen? Why shouldn’t I remember him? Please tell me why! I need to know!"

"I have no right to tell you, Castiel. I’ll Just ask you to stay away from him, please. Go on with your life and leave him alone... Please... For him. For both of you!"

"I can’t do this. I can’t go on without knowing why I remember him, why I feel... " he cleared his throat before continuing"... this... connection with him. "

"I beg you, then. If you like him... If you feel anything for him, let him go. For both of your sakes, please. "

The blond girl approached the table and said,

"Mother, it’s not fair! He needs to know! "

"Shut up, Jo! You don’t understand! He shouldn’t know, ever! "

Addressing the girl, Castiel begged:

"If you know anything, please... I need to know! Please!"

"Jo, go back to the kitchen and stay there. You don’t understand... Neither do you, Castiel. Now go. Go home, forget about him. It's the best for both of you. "

Frowning, he picked up his book from the table and left. He walked slowly to the car, sorry he missed the opportunity. He knew the woman would tell Dean, there was no more way to follow him, to find him at home.

He sighed and took the key to open the car when he saw the young woman running to meet him.

"Hey! Hang on!"

He turned, hopeful. The girl seemed indecisive.

"Are you going to tell me how I know Dean?"

"I can’t. I don’t know the whole story. And my mother would kill me if I told you what I knew. Dean hates me to talk about it. But I hid my mom’s phone before she could tell Dean that you were here. " Holding out a piece of paper, she said, " That's his address, if that's what you wanted. Just... don’t hurt him. Dean's a good man. "

"I already suspected that... The feelings I have about him, though hazy, they never told me otherwise. Thank you..."

"Jo. My name is Jo. Now go, I must go back before my mother suspects something. "

She turned and ran back down the alley.

Castiel looked at the address in his hand.

Now that he could, he was afraid to do what was necessary. The older woman's words haunted him:

_" He shouldn’t know, ever!”_

*****

Castiel checked the building number. There he was. Second floor. The front door was open and he walked in, down the hall to the stairs. There was no elevator.

He came up, his throat tightening, because of what he knew would happen next.

He knocked on the door and waited.

"Sam... is that you?"

Castiel replied softly, hoping to fool Dean:

"Yes."

When the door opened, Dean's face changed.

"You! How did you get here? " Dean tried to close the door again. Castiel, however, shoved hit with his shoulder and entered the apartment. Dean stepped back, stunned.

"Whether you like it or not, Dean, you're going to tell me what happened between us. I won’ leave until you tell me everything. "

"You're trespassing on my property, I'm going to call the police."

"No, you’re not” Castiel bluffed. “Let's sit down like reasonable people and you'll tell me the story I shouldn’t know. And _why_ shouldn’t I know. "

"Christ, Cas..." the nickname rolled off his tongue inadvertently. "There's nothing to know, I told you..."

"Please, don’t deny it, Dean. Jo confirmed that there is a story between us, she just didn’t want to tell me. And her mother... She knows, doesn’t she? Why did she say I shouldn’t know, ever? "

"Because that would hurt you! That's why! Are you satisfied now? "

"Hurt me... how?"

Running his hand through his hair in exasperation, Dean looked like a trapped animal. He turned quickly and before Cas could do anything, he picked up the car keys on the table and went out the door.

"Dean, don’t... Wait!"

He was already at the top of the stairs and began to run down the steps. Castiel watched, horrified, as Dean collided with a redheaded woman coming out of a door on the first floor.

"DEAN!" Was the cry that left his lips as the other man rolled loudly down the last flight of stairs.


	18. Chapter 18

A piercing pain in his head made Cas hold it with both hands as he dropped to his knees. He had to help Dean... Dean! He had rolled down the stairs!

Holding himself  against the railing, he raised his eyes, his face contracting in pain. One step toward the stairs. It was what he needed to do. He needed to...

Another blinding bout of pain made him stop and stagger. He clung to the railing with all his might. He had to go to Dean. One step at a time... One step... just one...

A crash on the second-floor landing made the long-haired girl, a phone in her hand, look up to see that the dark-haired man had also fallen.

 _Now there are two people to be attended to_ , she thought, as she called the emergency services.


	19. Chapter 19

Walking carefully over the burnt wood floor, he sought out the child. The air was filled with smoke and it hurt his eyes. Attentive to his ears, he heard the muffled cry.

Turning toward the sound, his eyes fell on a seared blanket. The slight movement beneath it showed him that he was right. Pulling at one end, he found the little girl crying and coughing.

Immediately he reached down and took her in his arms, fixing an oxygen mask on her blackened face. He warned his colleagues that he had found the last victim.

In the arms of the tall, strong man, the girl stopped crying. She stared at him with wide, frightened eyes. She called for her mother.

The firefighter started his way back, but the floor had just collapsed, making it impossible for him to return. He needed to find another escape route. He transmitted the incident to the commander, who gave him the coordinates, informing him that he had sent two other firemen to help him out of the building.

Shunning the most dangerous places, he followed the instructions until he saw of Gabriel and Michael at the far end of the corridor. They stood by the window and waved to him to come over to the ladder of the truck to allow them to leave.

One step at a time, cautiously, he walked. The ground sagged beneath his feet and one of his legs descended through the boards, hanging in the void. The lower floors have collapsed some time before. He tried to get up, but with the child in his arms he couldn’t lean on them to get out of the hole.

Gabriel came to meet him and quickly took the girl from him. He went to the window and passed it to another fireman. She was safe. Michael was already with him, helping him to get up. The overalls had torn and got caught in one of the boards, making it impossible to escape. Gabriel came back. He reached down to the floor, trying to loosen the thick fabric that was in the way.

A deafening sound and everything came down.

#

A light passed in front of his eyes and he wanted to close his eyelids, but someone held them open.

The paramedic told the commander that he looked fine, despite the knock on the head, but he needed to be examined at the hospital. The stretcher was placed in the ambulance, and the siren's high-pitched sound filled the air.

#

Everything was green. Walls, furniture, curtains. Even the linoleum was a darker shade of green. The room was large and crowded. He felt lonely and afraid, curled up in a corner. He called for his friends, but neither Gabriel nor Michael came to help him. He couldn’t find them, no matter how hard he tried.

A woman in white clothes approached and spoke softly to him. He stood up and followed her down a corridor where the faded green continued, seemingly endless.

#

A gray-haired man was sitting by his bed when he woke up. He felt afraid and screamed, calling the nurse.

None of the nurses came. The man smiled while he got up and pressed the red button next to the bed.

He leaned against the headboard and looked closely at the man who was struggling, bound by leather bands.

Two women in black clothes came in and approached him. One of them had a syringe in her hand. The man backed away, still smiling. He pulled out the phone and began to chat animatedly.

The room darkened little by little.

#

He was lying down, but awake.

Silence was cut off only by a few electronic beeps.

A voice called out softly,

"Angel?"

Intense pain pierced his temples and a terrifying scream emerged from his mouth.

#

"Angel?"

He opened his eyes slowly. He felt rested and calm.

"Do I fell asleep?"

"Yes, for a while," answered the young redhead woman, whose eyes smiled as much as her lips.

A gray-haired man stood at the door and nodded.

"Hello, Angel. How do you feel?"

"Well, sir."

"Charlie, take him into Dr. Benton's office. We need to know if it's all right this time. "

#

A woman with long golden hair was lying on his chest, panting. He looked at her and smiled. She was beautiful.

Looking out the window, he saw the sun set on the horizon. Soft music played in the background and he turned to kiss her rosy lips one more time.

#

The man  smiled at him from the other end of the boat. It showed him the fish he had just taken from the water.

Shaking his head, he smiled. He reached out and took a beer from the cooler, taking a sip of the cold drink. He rubbed his other hand over his lips and watched his companion approach. He whispered something to his ear, just a few words, but they were very exciting.

The other man turned and sat by the engine, turning it on, making the boat move toward the banks of the lake. The cabin where they were staying seemed closer and closer.

#

The atmosphere was filled with soaring music. From where he was, he could see everyone from above. Holding tight to the metal bar, he propelled the body, wrapping his thighs around it. After a complete turn in the air, he put his feet back on the floor.

He turned languidly and met the tall, black man that smiled brazenly at him.

His hands left the pole and went down his chest in a calculated, slow, seductive gesture. They stopped at the elastic band of the small thong he wore. One of his fingers slid beneath it, provocatively. He watched the man swallow hard, unable to take his eyes off him.

A sudden jerk and he was naked. Someone whistled, others cheered, but the staring man only licked his lips and smiled.

#

"Angel? ANGEL? "

“Do I fell asleep?"

"Angel, open your eyes. How do you feel? " The young redhead looked alarmed.

Clenching his teeth, he stammered,

"My... head... hurts..." He squirmed now on the stretcher, his eyes turning in their sockets.

"Dr. Benton, come right away. We have problems with Angel! "

#

"Angel?"

"Do I fell asleep?"

"For a while," the grinning man with the odd haircut, replied.

A pale hand, long red nails ran down his arm, causing it to shiver.

#

Lying down, his wrists were tied to the head of the bed with fur-covered cuffs.

Straddling his hips, a beautiful woman, red hair, lips and nails, smiled predatorily, her hands resting on her waist, wrapped in a black leather corset.

"Let's play a little, my... _angel_?" She laughed at her own joke. "How about..." and she leaned toward the candle that burned on the bedside table.

#

"Ramble On, dude... This is one of my favorites. Let me turn up the volume. "

The freckle-faced man walked away, humming as he wiped his hands on a towel.

The engine seemed in order, the last piece having just been placed. He moved away, rubbing the oil of his hands in a flannel.

The man returned to the car, opened the door and entered. Turning the key, the engine roared, the sound reverberating through the walls of the large garage.

The bright green eyes gazed into his face and a huge grin opened to him.

#

They walked along a bush-strewn path toward the quiet street.

"What?" the man said, not losing his cool. "He needs the money and the price was very low. It wasn’t fair. Everybody wins."

He nodded and got into the car.

#

"Miss... please, we'd like one more piece of..."

The speech was interrupted by a loud sound and a heat wave, which knocked him over. Lying on the linoleum floor, he started to panic. Where was he? Why didn’t Gabriel come when he called?

An unknown man helped him to his feet and pulled him away. He hoped he would take him to Gabriel. He was very scared.

#

Soft morning light.

Soft sheets.

Silky hair next to his face.

Comfort.

His arms tightened a little more around the warm body against his.

"Cas? Are you awake? " Asked the sleepy voice.

"Yes, Dean..."

Turning to face him, the handsome man whose name was Dean smiled shyly.

"Did you sleep well?"

"Yes. They didn’t come, did they? "

"No, Cas, while I'm here, they won’t get you. I swear."

Dean was his friend. He would not let them hurt him again.

#

Her eyes opened to the light that insisted on shining.

The little flashlight moved away from his face and he saw, through the remaining glow, a worried face next to him.

With an effort, he opened his mouth and spoke hoarse words that seemed to be the first in a long time:

"Hello... Sam."


	20. Chapter 20

Sam looked at Castiel intently. He was surprised to be recognized by him. It was not meant to be. Never.

"How do you feel, Cas?"

"I've been better, but..." he said with a tentative smile, which vanished immediately as he remembered what happened. "Dean! What happened to Dean? " He was trying to get up now, the nurse and Sam holding him lying down.

"Dean's fine... he's being examined. He had a concussion, a dislocated shoulder and some bruised ribs in the fall, but fortunately there were no fractures. "

"Is he... here in this hospital?"

"Yes, in another room. Well, he's doing a CT right now. "

Castiel narrowed his eyes, feeling guilty. He should never have come to his apartment, confronting him. He should have guessed...

"Cas, I need to know..." Sam interrupted his recriminatory thoughts "... what do you remember?"

"I remember everything, Sam."

"What do you mean... everything?"

"Everything."

Sam leaned back in the chair again, reflecting.

"Doctors say you had a seizure. The girl who called the emergency also saw you fall. They want to do more testing, but they need your authorization" he said, glancing sideways at the nurse still in the room.

"Would you rather I... take those tests somewhere else, am I correct?"

"Yes, that's right. I'll call Dr. Ash and see if he... has time to see you. "

"I agree, Sam. If I need more tests, Dr. Ash is the right person for it. "

*****

Ash had left the Dollhouse the month after the incident with Cas. The whole situation made him think and he could no longer do what he did there, regardless of the financial advantages.

As Angel's situation was highly irregular by Dallas Dollhouse standards, he began investigating the programmer at the New York headquarters. She was a very skilful young woman named Charlie Bradbury. Her imprints were impressive and Ash became even more interested in meeting her. The difficulty was that she seemed to have fallen from the face of the Earth when she had, like him, stopped working for those people.

But that didn’t stop him. After a while he found and befriended her. Together, now, they were planning ways to sabotage the Dollhouses. They were ashamed to have been, even for a period of time, responsible for programming so many innocent people when the technology they possessed could be used for more positive purposes.

So when Sam called and scheduled a meeting, the two of them were going to be there. Charlie was afraid of finding the man who they used to call Angel. He could hold her responsible. And she was, to some extent, the cause of his problems. She should have warned the administrators that his mind had a different configuration.

Sam accompanied Cas to the house in a stripped-down Fort Worth neighborhood. Nothing betrayed what the two geniuses who worked there did.

The door was opened by Ash. He received them and took them to the lower level, where the equipment was. He and Charlie had built just about all the programming equipment they had access to while at the Dollhouse. Charlie had even managed to improve some aspects of the software.

She was sitting in front of a console, where there were at least four screens showing data intermittently. Beside her, the machine that could program humans as living puppets. The design was different, from what Castiel had known in both New York and Dallas.

She looked up and stared at the man who haunted her thoughts. He gave her a nod.

Sam was the one who spoke first,

"Ash, Charlie, I think you already know Castiel Novak. I believe you are aware of his whole history. He went through a traumatic event and had a seizure and now he claims... " he said, looking at Cas for a moment "... claims to remember everything. "

Ash only raised his eyebrows. Charlie braced herself and asked,

"When you say you remember everything..."

"I remember everything. _Everything_. I remember my life before psychiatric hospitalization. I remember the hospital and how I got out. I remember you operating the machinery for that sleazy gray-haired man. I recall of all my ‘contracts’ in New York, I remember the transfer to Dallas, I remember what I did here. I remember Dean and what happened next. Like I said, everything. "

The two programmers looked at each other, and Ash took Cas' arm and made him lie down. He explained that at that moment the device was not ready for programming, but for diagnosis.

The readings were unintelligible to Sam, but the two programmers seemed totally taken aback by the data they received from the machines. They groaned among themselves, punctuating the conversation with expressions of disbelief.

Finally, they turned to the man on the stretcher, letting go of all the electrodes.

When he got up from there and sat down in a chair next to Sam, Charlie was the first to speak.

"Castiel, your brain has a differentiated construction. I knew that a long time ago, but I didn’t have the courage to act at that moment... " she stopped, lowering her head.

"That is past, Charlie, we can't change it. I want to know what I'll face from now on," Castiel said in a firm voice.

"You have the innate ability to deal with the memories of everything that happened and sit here, in front of me, totally coherent and in possession of your mental faculties. Any one of us, exposed to the magnitude of what is in your head would probably be wearing a straitjacket. "

"What does that mean?" Sam asked.

"From what we have been able to observe, Castiel is cured of his Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome and surprisingly well, overall. He can live with everything that has happened and access the memories as if they were files on a computer. "

"It means, Sam, that I am in possession of all the skills and knowledge that have ever been implanted in my mind. I have the skills of the mechanic you met, of a policeman, of a sniper, of an athlete, and of so many other personalities who have been imprinted on me. And I  am still myself, with my memories, preferences, tastes and feelings. I'm still myself, Sam, in spite of all this added burden. "

"This is amazing! Is there anyone else whose mind is similar? "

"There is. A girl in Los Angeles, known by the name of Echo. She has a similar mind and we can imagine that there are others. She's in touch with us and the FBI agents trying to unravel the secrets of the powerful men behind the technology of the Dollhouses. "

"Well, then we can assume that... Castiel can have a normal life. That will have no problems in the future. "

"We think so. The two times that led to critical situations were created by extreme conditions of shock. As the floodgates seem to have opened up completely this last time, there should be no further complications. "

"That's reassuring," said Castiel, turning to Sam. "Can we go, Sam? I need to see Dean, I need to know how he is. "

"Yes, let's go. Thanks for the help."

"Anything you need, you can contact us," Charlie replied. Turning to Castiel, she held out her hand.

"I hope you can forgive us."

"There's no need for that, Charlie. I have to admit that, in a totally twisted way, it seems that what I went through made me the man I needed to become. "

They left the house and went back to the hospital.


	21. Chapter 21

" How's Dean? "

"He's fine, he will be discharged tomorrow morning. You can come in and see him. "

"Thank you, Dr. Kripke. Come on, Cas. "

"Sam, I... I don’t think I should come in yet. You go first and see if he wants to talk to me... After what happened I don’t think... "

"Of course he wants to see you! But I'll come first and I'll tell you, okay? "

Castiel nodded and leaned against the wall next to the door to wait. He didn’t know if he was able to face Dean at that moment, knowing that he was to blame for his injuries.

*****

"What do you mean, you don’t want to see him? He's out there, he’s really worried about you. "

"I can’t, Sam. I have nothing to say to him... I... "

"I told you that he remembers everything and doesn’t blame you for anything. Maybe he just want to say goodbye. "

"I can’t... not today, at least. I need to think, maybe tomorrow. "

"Okay, I'll tell him. But think hard, he deserves it from you. "

Sam left the room and found Cas where he had left it.

"Cas, he... is very tired and in pain..."

"He doesn’t want to see me, right?"

"It's not like that, he's confused, when he learned you remembered what happened is messing with his head. Maybe tomorrow... Don’t lose hope. "

"Well, there's someone else I need to see. I'm going to talk to Ellen, she deserves my thanks. Just like you, Sam. You helped me and I'm very grateful. Whatever you need... "

"I did what I believed to be right, I'm glad you're fine. I hope you can think of me as a friend. "

"We're friends, Sam. How many people call me Cas out there? " He said, trying to make Sam smile. "I'll be back early tomorrow, before Dean's discharge, okay? I need to sort out some business before I come. "

"Alright, see you tomorrow, then."

*****

Castiel opened the door to the restaurant and was immediately spotted by Ellen, who stepped out from behind the counter and came to him.

"Cas, how are you? Sam called from the hospital. "

"I am fine. Dean is fine too. Have you heard... what happened to my memories? "

"Sam told me. He said you're special. But I already knew that" she said, smiling. "Sit down with me, let's talk."

They sat down at a table next to the wall, face to face.

Castiel felt great affection for this woman who had helped him when he needed it most.

"Ellen, I... I came to thank you. You were very kind to me when I needed. I will never be able to repay such dedication and affection. "

"I really like you, Cas, no need to thank me." She took Cas’ hands. "And... you're very good for Dean. That also counts a lot, he's like a son to me. "

Cas smiled sadly and lowered his eyes. How could he tell her that Dean didn’t want to see him anymore?

"Did you know that my daughter Jo was also in a Dollhouse against her will? Dean helped free her. That was what she wanted me to tell you that day... But they had told us that if you came into contact with facts that contradicted your programming, you were going to lose your mind. "

"Well, the truth is that I actually collapsed, but thanks to my weird brain everything ended up falling into place. I know everything now and I can handle it well. "

"What do you want to do? Now that you know everything, I mean? "

"What can I do? I will honor the fact that Dean gave most of his money so that I had a new opportunity in life. I'm going back to Kansas City and the job he got for me. I am very grateful for everything. I wish I could say that to him personally, but I don’t think it will be possible... "

"How will it not be possible? I don’t understand."

"He doesn’t want to see me, Ellen. Sam tried to persuade him, but he still refused. "

"He has to talk to you, Cas! I'm going to call him... "

"No, don’t do it, please. If he doesn’t want to see me, I understand. I won’t force him. "

"But he... I'm sure he..." She didn’t know how to express what she thought. She knew that Dean missed Cas very much. "He needs you, Cas. He doesn’t know that, but someday he'll see. "

*****

On his way to the hotel, he stopped at a convenience store and bought some things he needed.

When he got there, he sat down to write a letter to Dean.

*****

As promised, Castiel arrived at the hospital before Dean was discharged. He asked the nurse to call Sam to talk to him in the waiting room.

After a few minutes Dean's younger brother met him there.

"Hello, Sam."

"Good morning, Cas. Dean is still asleep... I'll ask him if... "

"No need to bother him, let him rest. I just came by to say goodbye to you and leave a letter for Dean. I'd be happy if he reads it, but if he doesn’t want to, there's no problem. "

"I'm sure he'd rather say goodbye in person... I..."

"No, excuse me, but I'm going home. I just came to leave this and to say goodbye to you.

"Cas... I don’t know what to say."

"Say... see you? I hope we can meet again, Sam. Under better circumstances. Please convey my good bye and thanks. "

He got up and left, leaving a desolate Sam holding a brown envelope.

*****

When Dean woke up, he found Sam sitting by the bed. There was a large envelope on the blanket.

"Hi, Sam. What is it?"

"Cas left it for you. He is already returning to Kansas City, but he wrote you a letter. He knew you don’t want to see him. "

"He is gone? Well, maybe it’s better that way. I don’t know what I would tell him. "

"How about telling him the truth? That you miss him? "

"Sam..."

"I'm not blind, Dean. You can deny all you want, but he... It's important to you. I know."

Dean didn’t even bother denying it. His brother knew him too well. He silently took the envelope in his hands. It was too heavy to contain only a letter. He unrolled the string that closed it, and as he turned it, the keys of the Corvette fell on the bed.


	22. Chapter 22

Castiel woke up early. It was Saturday, but he liked to run in the morning, even on weekends.

While tying his sneakers, he thought about the tiring week he'd had at work. Once more he looked around at the room where he had slept for the last six months. Except for his clothes and some books, there was no personal touch added. Neither there nor in the other rooms. The walls were bare, there was no picture frame or decorating object. It could be a hotel room if somebody measured the warmth of his home. So many memories and so few mementos.

It was a recurring thought, but it didn’t make him act to change. He slept there, ate some meals, and watched TV. And now that he didn't have a car, even the parking space was empty.

He sighed, wondering if that would ever change. He found it hard to believe.

*****

He ran up the stairs. Sweaty, his hair sticking to his forehead, he was thirsty and desperate for a shower.

Reaching the landing he stopped. For a second he couldn’t breathe, but he tried to think of it as a result of the run and the steps he'd climbed at an accelerated pace.

Dean was leaning against the door, waiting for him.

"Good morning, Castiel."

"Hello, Dean," he replied without moving.

When the situation started to be embarrassing, Dean said,

"Are you going to invite me in?"

"Sure, sure, sorry... it's just... I wasn’t expecting anyone."

He walked to the door and with shaking hands he placed the key in the lock. He opened it and gestured for the other to enter first.

The freckled man entered and waited for the host to close the door. He pointed to the living room, but he suspected that Dean knew his apartment well.

"Do you always run this early on Saturdays?"

"Yes, I like to keep my exercise routine. You- " He thought about what he was going to ask, choosing one, quite innocuous, from the hundreds of questions that filled his mind at that moment. "Have you had breakfast yet?"

Dean shook his head.

"I arrived about half an hour ago. I haven’t had time yet. "

"I’ll take a shower, then we'll go out for a bite to eat, okay?"

"Okay, I'll wait."

Castiel went to the bedroom and closed the door behind him. He leaned against it for a moment, trying to regain his composure. What was Dean doing here?

*****

Dean looked around. He took the remote from the coffee table and turned on the TV. Only infomercials, cartoons and reruns. Saturday morning wasn’t a good day to watch television.

He turned it off again and looked around. So many months had passed and despite the order and cleanliness of the apartment, it seemed that no one lived there.

He got up and went into the kitchen. In that place, too, order prevailed; Castiel apparently didn’t cook at home. Opening the fridge he found only fruit and yogurt. No beer. Not even eggs to make some pancakes, he thought.

He returned to the couch, he didn’t want to be caught snooping. Castiel was nothing more to him than an acquaintance, he couldn’t take liberties in his house even if it was the one who had bought and furnished. None of that belonged to him.

He closed her eyes for a moment, trying to rest from the trip he had made during the night. He left after dining at the Roadhouse, though he didn’t tell anyone what he planned to do during the weekend.

When Castiel returned to the living room, in clean clothes and damp hair, he found Dean deeply asleep.

*****

Castiel let his eyes take in Dean's vision on his couch. His mere presence was enough to bring warmth into the impersonal room.

He must be tired, probably had driven all night. Cas was going to leave him asleep and go out to get breakfast.

As he closed the door, after leaving a note of "I'll be right back" on the table, he rested his eyes on that face he hadn’t expected to see again in his life. And it made his heart skip a beat.

*****

When Dean awoke, he found the coffee table covered in paper packages. Castiel was sitting at the other end of the sofa, a book open in his hands.

"Looks like I doze off. Sorry."

"No problem. I brought some of the things I remember you like. "

"Have you been waiting a long time?"

"No, half an hour, I guess. Did you drive here? "

"Yes. It's not a very long trip, but... I wanted to get here early."

Castiel took a cup and sipped his cappuccino. He didn’t want to ask why the haste.

Silence prevailed as they ate. Castiel felt uncomfortable. He chose a safe topic to talk about:

"How is Sam? And Ellen? Jo? All well, I hope. "

"Yes, all well. Sam's still an asshole, but that's normal... Ellen, if she'd known I was coming here, she would send you regards. She likes you a lot. "

"She is a good woman. I miss her."

"Hmm..." was Dean's response as he swallowed his coffee.

He had to ask, he couldn’t avoid it any longer:

"Did you read my letter?"

"That's why I'm here."

"Sorry, Dean, but I wasn’t in a position to..."

"I get it. I'm the one who needs to apologize, I acted like an idiot. I should have talked to you. "

"Things... didn’t go as I thought. None of that was what I imagined would happen. Please forgive me."

"Well, I think we got past this phase already. I’m not mad at you, Cas. You don’t need to feel guilty. "

"It's a relief." And he wondered if Dean stopped feeling guilty about everything that happened as well.

"Well... past the critical moment, the reason for this visit" Dean said, putting his hand in his front pocket.

He took the key from the Corvette and threw it toward Cas:

"I came to give back your car."

"But, Dean, I..."

"No ‘but’ Cas. It's your car. I gave it to you. "

"I can’t keep it knowing it's so important to you."

"It's not as important to me... as you think. I gave it to you, I don’t want it back. This phase of my life is over, I have to move on. "

Castiel rolled the key chain between his fingers and with a sad look said:

"Thank you, Dean," he had finally said - that part of his life had ended. It was the end for Cas too, he supposed.

Dean smiled, averting his eyes to his coffee. Why did he feel that the world was suddenly colder?

"Well, if you've been driving the Corvette... How do you want to get back to Dallas?"

"I thought you could take me to the bus station" he replied.

"Why don’t you stay here in Kansas City tonight? You look tired."

He shouldn’t do that, but he couldn’t control himself.

"You’re right. It would be good to get some sleep before leaving. Do you know any hotel? "

"I can get you to a hotel, of course, but... there's plenty of room here... If you won't feel uncomfortable, I mean..."

Dean looked at Cas. He tried to look through him once more. He felt himself face to face with the unknown. Never, in fact, he knew the essence of this man, only two different versions of him... Fragments. He couldn’t help wanting to see the whole picture, if only for a short time.

"If it won’t bother you..."

"It will be a pleasure to have you here."

Having said that, Cas got up and began to collect the empty packages from the table. Dean watched him, noticing each movement. He felt the need to catalog every gesture, every word, every look. He knew this was the last opportunity he would have to do it.


	23. Chapter 23

Castiel returned to the room after discarding the empty packages. He didn’t know what to say to Dean. Before being surprised by his presence that day, he was sure to have many questions and a number of things he wanted to say to him. At the moment his mind was blank.

Dean also seemed a bit out of place, but he was better at dealing with the situation.

"Well, we have Saturday ahead of us. What do you usually do? "

"Well... I usually go to the farmers market and buy some fruit. Then I come home and read. I've read a lot lately. Or I watch TV. "

"Is this your weekend?"

"I don’t have many friends here... It's hard to relate to ordinary people when you have that amount of information in your head... I have to keep restraining myself all the time to say nothing... out of the ordinary. But it's not like I was a super popular guy before... I've always been... good on my own. "

"I see... But when you were... in Dallas," he would say 'with me,' but he restrained himself at the last moment... "after your first problem happened... people like you, Cas. Ellen and Sam are very fond of you. " He deliberately omitted how much he himself was fond of Castiel.

Castiel lowered his eyes. He thought for a few seconds.

"My family... was never a model family, Dean. My parents split up when my brother and I were very young. I never saw my father again. My mother died, leaving us in the care of an aunt who never thought about having children. Inias died in his teens in an accident. You could say that... being alone is normal to me. Of course I would like to have a family again, but... it seems a very remote idea. "

If Dean wanted to know more about Castiel, he'd already begun to figure things out. This man's life seemed to have been dominated by unhappiness and loneliness. He said:

"I feel responsible, in part, for you feeling threatened by other people... I was one of those who abused you, Cas. You can’t imagine how I regret it. "

"I know you regret it and I also know you won’t do anything like that again. And you're not responsible for what other people did... Besides... " he began and stopped, wondering if he should say what he wanted. Deciding it was a way to get to know each other better and clear the air between them, he continued: "... you rented me to be a friend, Dean. I know what role I represented in your story. You've never... tried anything else with me. And I'm very grateful for that. I can’t say that about any of my other contractors. "

Dean felt mortified. He hadn’t done anything, but it was not like he hadn’t wanted it.

"Look, Cas... I don’t deserve to be treated differently from any of the others..."

"You always treated me with respect. You listened to my opinions, even though they were not really mine... You took me in when I needed. You freed me from that hell... It's so much more than anyone else has done for me. This house, this new life in Kansas City, is proof that you wanted to redeem yourself. But let's not talk about it anymore. "

He tried to change the subject:

"And you, what do you do on the weekends?"

"I... I don’t always have a free Saturday. Too much work in the workshop. And I can always use the extra money. " He smiled, but the gesture didn’t reach his eyes. "I clean my house, I buy groceries for the next week. Sometimes I visit Sam and Jessica, but I don’t like intruding into their free time... I take care of Baby. When the weather is good, I take the road with no particular destination. That's what I like the most. Get out and drive around. "

Castiel realized then what they would do that day.

"Dean... why don’t we do this? Get the Corvette and go out there? I would like it very much. "

"You mean... take the road?"

"Yes, we could listen to music, talk, eat something really unhealthy. Change scenery. I think we both need it."

"Well, the idea sounds good... But I drove all night. Only if you drive. "

"No problem. I’ll drive."

Dean got up from the couch, stretching and talking, excited at the prospect of spending the day with Cas:

"What are we waiting for, then? Come on."

*****

They refueled the Corvette and took the I-70 toward Topeka. The day was sunny and the two finally seemed a bit more at ease with each other.

Dean was adept at a maxim when it came to his car: 'driver picks the music, shotgun shuts his cake hole'. He suggested that Castiel choose what they would hear, but he wasn’t so possessive:

"You choose. As far as I remember you musical taste is not the worst... "

"This is a compliment I can accept. Thank you. Let me see..."

He searched until he found a radio station that played some of the hard rock hits of the seventies and eighties.

When they realized, they were humming along with Deep Purple's ‘Highway Star’. They smiled at each other.

About forty minutes later, a sign on the road pointed out to Lawrence. Castiel asked:

"Do you think we should keep going or turn here?"

"Turn here, let's see what it's all about... We can always continue on to Topeka later."

The town was quiet and well organized. Castiel drove casually through the streets, and the two of them watched the landscape, making a comment here and there. One of the streets ended in a well-kept square, where an event was taking place, it looked like a fair. There were a lot of people there and Castiel asked if he could park to have a look. Dean nodded, since this tour was meant to distract Castiel.

They left the car in a nearby street and walked to the event, which was an antique and handicraft market. They looked from stall to stall until Castiel came across one that sold old books. He crouched down to take a closer look at the merchandise. Dean stood behind him.

"You really like to read, don’t you?"

"Yes, Dean... it's a way to... distract me... from my own life," he said, looking up at the man who was with him. But he soon looked away, embarrassed by the admission.

"I see," he said, thinking of what a sad book could be written from Castiel's life story. If he could do anything to make it more auspicious, he would. He would love to be able to be a part of what was yet to happen, but he didn’t dare to believe it. They would forever be people whose incriminating past would hover, uncomfortable among them.

Castiel chose three of the books, whose covers were quite old, although they were well cared for. Dean offered to pay for them as a gift and Castiel accepted reluctantly after some insistence:

"Lunch's on me then."

Further on, a white-bearded gentleman offered antique mechanical parts, car plates, and vehicle accessories from various eras. Dean felt instantly attracted, for he was fond of vintage cars, as Cas knew first hand. He engaged in conversation with the man, who, pleased to find a person who understood much of the subject, showed him some parts that were stored in a box, in the bottom of the stall. They were especially rare pieces and the salesman talked about them and the vehicles to which they belonged.

Dean listened in fascination to the old man's speech. Castiel, at first following the conversation in silence, suddenly said:

"Are you sure this piece is an original? As I recall... "and stopped, realizing what he had done. He had inadvertently accessed the 'files' that were implanted in Dean's time. He looked at him, his face showing surprise.

"What do you remember, sir? That piece is authentic! "

Looking at Dean as if asking for permission, he continued, under the comforting glance of the person he would like to call friend:

"It is authentic, I don’t doubt you. Forgive me if I made you believe that. I only remember that those of the 65 model had a distinct marking, near the central hole. It's original, but it's not 65. "

"Do you allow me to check your information in one of my catalogs?"

"Of course."

He pulled away a little, pulling a box full of dusty books. It was going to take a little while to find what he wanted. Meanwhile, Dean had approached him and his smile said it all - he was proud of Castiel.

"Can you access all... your memories so easily?"

"I think so, if the situation is propitious, like this. Although I think it will be difficult to access my memories and skills of sniper or pole dancer in my daily life. "

He only realized the effect it had on Dean when he noticed that Dean was staring at him openly, momentarily speechless.

"Surprised, Dean? Which of the two abilities has caused this effect on you? "

"Sniper is quite impressive, but... pole dancer? Really?"

"One of my... employers... well, he wanted a stripper who knew how to dance like that," he admitted softly, cowering as he realized the blush rising up Dean's face. They were saved from more embarrassment by the return of the parts salesman.

"Please forgive me, you were right. The 65 pieces have this wedge-shaped mark engraved near the center hole. Those of later years don’t. You were right. You’re a great connoisseur! "

Dean patted him on the back, smiling, pleased. He asked for a card from the seller to buy parts in the mail if the need arose in the workshop.

They still feel a little uneasy, as the image of Cas spinning sensuously around a metal pole insisted on repeating in Dean's mind.

And worse, Castiel could see the effect this story had on Dean. He was embarrassed to admit such a thing, but unwittingly, that made him feel flattered.

*****

Luckily they soon found a restaurant that caught their eye. There was a large sign announcing "PIE - Twenty-five flavors" in the window. Castiel didn’t even have to ask if Dean wanted to eat there.

They sat down at one of the few tables available. They stayed in a corner, at a small table. Plaid tablecloths and natural flowers in small pots made the place rather cozy, home-like.

They ordered the meal, with Dean being mesmerized by the list of pies. He hastily ordered three different ones as dessert.

Remembering that Castiel would pay for the meal, he apologized, saying:

"I thought we could share. There are so many flavors... "

"Well, you picked my favorites, so I guess everything's fine."

After consuming their meal and actually sharing the dessert, to their secret delight, Dean asked,

"Sorry to ask, but since you make no secret of your... let's say... special abilities, is there any other... interesting ability I should know about?"

Castiel didn’t seem bothered by the question, but just amused and feeling good mood, he tried to play with Dean:

"More interesting than holding onto a vertical metal bar using only your thighs for support?" He said, smiling in a teasing way.

Dean turned red again, but he wasn’t going to be intimidated:

"Well, I had thought of other skills, but... if you insist on bringing up this pole dancer story..."

Trying to change the subject, a little embarrassed by his own boldness, Castiel continued:

"Well, I can fix old cars, but you already know that. 'Great connoisseur' was one of the terms used to describe my skill in this area... "

Dean gave him a look that said he wasn’t impressed.

"I did a lot of things, Dean. I can tell you in detail, but I wouldn’t know where to start. "

"Sorry, I didn’t want to be indiscreet. If you don’t feel comfortable, you don’t have to tell me anything."

"No problem, but... it's that... regardless of the knowledge I've gained this way... none of these people... none of them are me, Dean. And... " He suddenly stopped talking as if he could not continue.

"And?" Asked the interlocutor.

"And I don’t even know who I really am sometimes. That's why I take refuge in books and movies. I run away from reality, that's what I do. "

Dean heard this confession and was saddened by it. If he could help him, he would do it without batting an eye. But he found himself answering:

"You're not the only one, I can assure you."

He got up from the table and called Castiel with a nod to follow him.

*****

"You don’t cook."  Dean asked. "At home, I mean."

"Sometimes, I don’t know how to cook very well."

"What if... I made dinner for us tonight?"

"I'd like to, but I have nothing at home."

"We'll stop at the grocery store on the way back to... Kansas City." He had almost said "home," but he had noticed it in time.

"Aren’t you too tired for that?"

"It will be a pleasure." And it was true.

*****

They ended up not going to Topeka, returning, instead, with the trunk full of groceries for dinner.

They arrived at Castiel's apartment and Dean promptly set to cook. He would do something simple, but tasty, as Cas deserved.

Castiel asked if he could help, but as Dean said he would be the guest of honor, he sat down to watch the other's dexterity in the kitchen.

Soon the apartment was filled with the appetizing scent of Dean's cooking.

They ate in silence, enjoying the new warmth and companionship that had come out of their journey that day.

A journey that was much less geographic than emotional.

They had shared things they hadn’t before. Barriers on both sides had fallen and now there was a tranquility in the air, a sense of sharing that was satisfactory to both of them. If they had the opportunity, they both felt they could become friends.

They kept talking while cleaning the kitchen and storing the leftovers. It had been a busy day.

Dean yawned and Cas remembered that he must have been tired because of the night trip.

"Dean, you're going to sleep in my room, let me just get the bedding so I can sleep here on the couch, okay?

"No, Cas, I can’t sleep in your bed..."

"I remember sleeping in yours. Allow me to reciprocate. "

At that, Dean said nothing. After a few minutes he heard Cas call him from the bedroom.

"I hope you feel comfortable. If you need anything, just call. "

Dean hadn’t brought any luggage so he would have to sleep only in boxers and t-shirt. He used Castiel's bathroom, who had left a new toothbrush for him.

He lay down and thought he would sleep in seconds, he felt so tired.

However, his mind wandered and he struggled to fall asleep. He had been turning for over an hour and still couldn’t sleep. He decided to drink a glass of water in the kitchen.

As he walked down the hall to the living room, he saw a dim light. He found Cas with the lamp on, reading one of the books he had chosen that afternoon.

"Can’t you sleep, Cas?"

"I've had trouble sleeping lately. I told you... I read a lot. How about you?"

"I'm thirsty," he said, heading for the kitchen.

Knowing Cas was awake, he was reluctant to go back to his room.

"Cas... may I ask you something?"

"Anything, Dean."

"Don’t take it the wrong way, but... would you like to sleep... with me... in the bedroom?"

Castiel raised his eyebrows and didn’t respond immediately. Dean thought he needed to explain himself better:

"It's just... I remember... you slept very well on those nights that... you know..."

"We cuddled. I remember. It was comfortable. "

"If you don’t want to, I understand... I shouldn’t have asked" he said, turning away.

"No, Dean, I get it. I slept very well by your side. I felt safe... like I'd never felt before" he said flatly. He'd told so much to Dean that day that he could tell that too. He got up and walked toward the freckled man, who was looking at him with an expression both astonished and satisfied.

Dean went down the hall and lay down, pulling up the blankets so that Cas lay down too.

At first they lay on their backs, not quite sure how they would do it. Until Dean turned to Cas and called him softly.

"What if I..." he said to the man who was staring at him insistently "... hugged you?"

Castiel nodded and turned, putting his back against Dean's chest. It was a familiar position for both of them and Dean put his arm over Cas' torso. He brought his face close to Cas’ dark hair and took a deep breath.

Within seconds they were snoring.


	24. Chapter 24

Dean, as always, woke up first. They had turned around during the night, and now it was Cas who was hugging him, his head against Dean’s chest, breathing softly. It had been a night of restful sleep. He remembered that the other man used to run early. With great regret, he shook Cas lightly, calling quietly so as not to startle him.

"Cas… _Cas…"_

His reaction was the usual, which made Dean smile. He pulled the blanket over his head.

"Cas... aren’t you going to run today? Remember your exercise routine? "

"Not today," he mumbled, rubbing his nose in Dean's shirt.

"Not today? Would you tell me why?"

"You are here. That's reason enough. Let me sleep some more. Please... "the last words were mingled, he was already asleep again.

Dean couldn’t help but look affectionately at Cas. His face was never so relaxed, it seemed to emanate a sense of purity that enticed Dean. Cas moved his legs, shifting one of them between his own, too close to a part of his body that would really appreciate the situation if they continued this way. His desire for this man was growing stronger and he needed to keep his control all the time. He didn’t even know if Cas liked men. He had appreciated the fact that Dean hadn’t wanted anything sexual with him during his contract, he thought he might prefer women. The thought was daunting.

Dean tried to pull himself out of Cas’ tight arms without waking him. It wasn’t the easiest task, but as soon as he got out he felt sad. That was probably the last time they'd slept like that.

He took a shower, got dressed, and as Castiel was still asleep, went into the kitchen to start breakfast. It would be interesting to take breakfast in bed for the host. A special way to thank him.

He sensed that the sleeping man was used to eating healthier food than he, since he had mentioned fruit and organics. He would then make what he made Sam's for breakfast while he was in college: egg white omelet, orange juice, fruit salad, granola, and coffee. He personally preferred something more substantial, or greasy, as the younger brother would define it. But he was going to accompany Cas today (and he hoped that Sam would never find out).

Dean packed everything on a tray and carefully took it into the bedroom. Cas was snoring loudly, now hugging a pillow against his chest. Dean set the tray down on the desk near the door and approached softly. He touched Cas to the shoulder, shaking it gently. Cas opened his eyes and frowned.

"Hey, Good morning. Would you like some breakfast? "

"You made breakfast?" He asked, his voice even deeper than usual.

"Not only I made it as I'm going to serve it in bed."

"Dean, never leave, please..." he said, before he could censor his sleepy, half-numbed mind. He blushed heavily at what he'd said.

Dean opened his mouth to respond, but let it pass and just smiled. He sat on the edge of the bed and set the tray on Cas' lap.

Castiel was really impressed and thanked Dean profusely. Dean took one of the bowls with fruit salad and granola and began to chew, flattered.

When the meal was over, Cas lay back down. He looked satisfied.

"Cas... would you take me to the bus station before lunch? I have to go back to Dallas. I have work tomorrow."

"Sure... Let me get up."

Dean left the room with the tray and Cas could only sigh, thinking it was too soon.

*****

"The bus leaves in fifteen minutes," Dean informed him, returning with the ticket in his hand.

"Um..." It was the only answer Castiel could articulate.

"I... I’d like to take this opportunity to thank you. It was a very... interesting weekend. "

"I enjoyed it too, Dean. It was great to be able to get to know you a little better. "

"That's what I was going to say. But I feel like I just scratched the surface and there's so much more I'd like to find out. "

"Well, you can come back whenever you want. My house will always be open to you. "

"And you will also be welcome at my house, Cas. It's no longer a mansion, but... it's what I can offer you now. "

"It's never been a matter of wealth, Dean. I... I like... you for what you are, not for what you have. I told you I don’t care about things. "

Dean felt warmed by the fact that Castiel claimed to "like" him, in a rather embarrassed way, but what he felt for the man in front of him was more than just liking. He smiled, leaving aside that complicated subject:

"Ellen's going to be mad at me when she finds out I've come to see you...” he cleared his throat, self-conscious, “to return your car. She probably would want to send a letter or something. And some food, if I know her. " He finished, laughing.

"Send my regards to her. And Sam. Maybe someday we'll meet again. "

"Well... we can keep in touch if you want. You can call me if you want."

Castiel took the phone out of his pocket and handed it to Dean, so that he could insert his number into it.

"Well, I guess that's it. Goodbye, Cas. "

"See you next time, Dean."

They had said farewell, but they couldn’t seem to move from where they stood. Suddenly, Dean hugged him, pressing Cas to his chest.

"Until we see each other again, Cas," he said, moving quickly away from the stunned man who was still extremely close.

Cas' eyes looked like an endless ocean, and Dean forced himself away, hurrying toward the boarding gate.

*****

That hug had been... excruciating to Cas. Not that he hadn’t appreciated the contact. He had been caught unawares and hadn’t had time to reciprocate. He stood there, Dean’s strong arms enveloping him.

He wanted to cry as he watched Dean move away. To avoid the shame of crying in public, he turned and went home.

The journey of a few minutes seemed extremely long. He climbed the stairs slowly and opened the door. He stepped inside and looked around, missing the warmth and spontaneity of Dean. In just one day he had made Cas feel even more lonely.

He sat down on the couch and took one of the books he got from Dean. His hands stroked the cover gently, wishing he could have done the same with Dean's face.

He opened it and his eyes fell on the handwriting message that had not been there before.

He read and his heart stopped beating for a moment.

 

_"Cas,_

_I am immensely grateful to have had you in my life, even if for so little time._

_Your kindness and forgiveness never fail to amaze me._

_I’d like you to live intensely. Find your way and be happy. You deserve it._

_It would be an honor being considered your friend,_

_Dean "_

 

Tears began to stream down his face and he did nothing to contain them. How could he tell Dean that he could only live and be happy... with him? But it was too late for that. He was gone, maybe forever.

Deep despair gripped him. What was he going to do from that point forward?

He rested his head on his hands and sobbed. He felt more lonely than ever.

When he finally managed to take a deep breath, an idea crossed his mind.

He wiped his tears, rubbed his hands over his face, and got up quickly. He took the keys to the Corvette and ran down the stairs.


	25. Chapter 25

Castiel reached the bus station and went straight to the window of the company Dean had used for his trip back to Dallas.

"Good Morning. Please, I need some information about the bus that left about forty minutes ago to Dallas. Is there any point along the way where it has a stop? "

"Let me check, just a moment..." said the young woman, looking at the computer. "There's a stop... at a service station near Oklahoma City. The bus usually gets there... around 5 hours away, so we can assume... It will be there around 4 in the afternoon. Is it something urgent? "

"One of the passengers left something important behind. Well, I need to run, then. Thank you very much."

He consulted the road map online and within minutes he knew how to get there. He'd have to drive fast, but he'd tell the bus was slower than his Corvette.

*****

As he approached the outskirts of Edmond, he saw the bus. He approached and passed it, searching for the service station mentioned by the clerk. He soon found it, with several buses parked in the yard.

He parked the car near the restaurant and eagerly got out. The bus would still take a few minutes to get there. He bought a bottle of water and walked along the sidewalk impatiently.

He needed to calm down so he could say everything he had planned for the last few hours. He had no doubt of what he felt and of the plan he had formulated.

Despite that, he was not prepared for the possibility that Dean would not feel like him. If so... It would be very hard to face reality. But he would have to have courage and move on.

He looked up and saw the vehicle approaching, slowly. He stopped beside the others and the driver opened the door for the passengers to get off.

Cas started walking toward the bus. No sign of Dean. He went a little closer and waited. More people left, happy to be able to stretch their legs.

His heart beat faster as the man he was waiting man got down the last step. Looking around, he saw someone he didn’t expect to find there. His surprised expression gave way to a small smile. He waved to Cas and came toward him.

Castiel felt he could faint. He remembered everything he had ever lived and who was the smiling man coming toward him. That gave him the strength to smile back.

Dean held out his hand.

"Cas! Why are you here?"

Castiel took his hand in his and squeezed it, feeling its warmth. How could he live so long without Dean’s warmth?

"You left something important in Kansas City."

"Left? But I don’t... "He fumbled for his keys, his wallet, his cell phone. It was his only baggage.

"Yes, Dean, you left... _me_  behind!"

Dean blinked at the unexpected phrase. He swallowed, thinking as fast as he could, but what his brain was telling him he couldn’t believe it.

"W- what?"

"I... I realize that my coming was impetuous, but... When you left, I didn’t know what to do... I found the message in the book and... I am following your advice: living life intensely, trying to be happy. That's why I came after you. I don’t... " and he stopped, after the words had left his mouth. What he was going to say next was decisive.

"You don’t...?" Dean asked softly, a blush rising up his cheeks.

"I... I don’t want to live apart from you anymore, Dean."

Dean closed his eyes and his arms wrapped around the slightly shortest man. This time Castiel returned the gesture, letting his face lean against the neck of the man he had come so far to find.

His eyelids were heavy, they were trying to hold so many tears... Castiel had interpreted the embrace as acceptance of his statement, but what if Dean had embraced him because he knew the answer would hurt him?

Fearful, he felt the other loosen his grip. He didn’t want to open his eyes when they moved apart.

He took a deep breath, waiting for the answer that would come in words, sweet or painful, but what he got were warm lips on his own.

Cas' mouth opened to receive the intrusion of Dean's tongue in a sweeping kiss.

He let himself melt against the body he loved so much, feeling that he could fall apart if he were not contained within the circle of Dean’s arms.

Gradually, sweetness replaced passion, and Cas opened his eyes.

Dean was smiling and crying at the same time, running his fingers through Cas’ hair.

*****

"Dean." It was the only word he could say, still a little dizzy by the shock of what just happened.

Dean took him by the hand and looked around, noticing too many prying eyes. Spotting the Corvette, he started toward it. Cas opened the door and his mind was taken by the image of the night he had slept there in Dean's arms, when he wasn’t yet fully himself. His mind was able to show him everything that had gone unnoticed before and he finally understood why he had received the car as a gift.

He entered and pulled Dean by his lapels, bringing him close to kiss him again.

"Thank you, Dean, for giving me this car. Now I understand... I understand when you said it wasn’t that important to you. What happened inside it that night is what matters... Thank you. "

"I... couldn’t imagine the Corvette in anyone else's hands, knowing... It was part of our story. Even..."

"Even if we never come together. But don’t worry... I don’t intend to leave you or sell it. This car is a symbol of what brought us together. "

Dean smiled again and kissed him, chastely this time. His eyes fixed on his companion's and softened, for now he could lose himself in them as often as he wished.

"Dean, I... thought of several alternatives, I had plenty of time to plan what we could do..."

"First of all, we have to decide what we will do _now_. My bus is still there, but I don’t think I'm coming back to Dallas today... "

Castiel stared at him and smiled.

"You won’t be back to Dallas today. You have a very important appointment. Something that... can’t wait any longer... Right? "

"Yes!" He said pulling Castiel for one more kiss.

Gasping as he pulled back, Cas asked,

"Shall we look for a hotel in the nearest town? We can talk and sleep, before we decide what to do next. "

"Well, I wasn’t really thinking about sleeping..." He said, with a smile that left no doubt about what he was talking about.

The dark haired man felt a warmth rise through him and nodded, taking Dean's face in his hands.

*****

Dean had longed for and feared this moment equally.

They had stopped at a small hotel on the road. It was simple but comfortable.

The door had closed behind them and they were there, face to face, their breaths quick and their faces flushed.

It was time to realize all the fantasies Dean had when they were totally questionable.

Castiel seemed to notice Dean's hesitation and moved closer, wrapping his hands around his waist.

"Dean, I... If there was a time when what we are about to do could be considered improper, it has passed. I am here by my will and terribly excited to know that we are going... "

Dean wouldn’t let him finish. Cas has expressly consented so he kissed him. Castiel pulled Dean to him, their bodies touching. There was no hiding the fact that they both wanted it.


	26. Chapter 26

Dean's hands found the hard muscles under Cas' shirt and began to explore, pushing the garment up. He paused to look at the body he had longed for and had never seen so close. His eyes appreciated the flat abdomen, the strong pectorals. He finished pulling the t-shirt over Cas’ head and took one of the nipples between his lips. Licking and nibbling at it lightly, he made Castiel moan.

He smiled and moved to the other, treating the bud with the same affection, taking his time to pleasure Cas.

Castiel had his fingers on Dean’s short hair, brushing his nails against the scalp, prompting Dean to continue. He began to trace a trail with his mouth that went up his chest and ended in the jaw that seemed eternally covered by dark stubble. His lips found harshness and the sensation made him sigh, echoing the sounds Cas produced.

He lifted his head and caught those rosy lips again, letting his tongue curl into his partner's in a searing kiss.

Castiel took advantage of the distraction to start pushing Dean's jacket and shirt off Dean's shoulders, who moved his arms vigorously to help dispose of them. Immediately Cas' hands wrapped around his waist and slid up his back ,under his white t-shirt, enjoying the powerful muscles. He scratched his shoulders when he felt Dean mark him with a bite on the neck.

"Dean..." he murmured, taking advantage of every intimate touch of the one who so keenly aroused his desire.

"Yes, Cas..." he replied, taking his lips again. "What do you want?"

"I want you. I want to be close, to feel you naked against me. "

Dean pulled him by the hand to the bed, where he lay down and began to open his belt and then his pants. His hand rested on the zipper pull, but Cas batted it away, opening it himself. His hand touched Dean's cock still covered by the underwear, making him moan loudly. Cas was then pulled over Dean’s body. He wrapped his hands around Cas' buttocks still covered by his jeans, their mouths meeting again.

Cas pushed up a little, leaning on his elbows and looked deeply into those green eyes that fascinated him for so long. He had so much to say, if he didn’t he felt he would suffocate.

"Dean, I... I love you."

Dean closed his eyes and breathed audibly. He seemed to have been struck.

"No... you don’t have to say it back... I just wanted to let you know how I feel. "Castiel hastened to say, not wanting the other to feel obliged to repeat back what he had said.

"How can you think I don’t love you? I love you so much, I've loved you for so long... I don’t need to hide it anymore now, "he said with a smile.

The tears were back in those incredibly blue eyes, but Castiel smothered them with a laugh of relief. He could never have imagined being so happy.

Dean rolled them, leaving Cas stretched out on his back on the mattress. He knelt down beside him and finished doing what he had started before, stripping Cas completely naked before him. He watched him with hungry eyes, before standing to take off the rest of his own clothes.

Castiel received him in his arms, embracing the man who had been able to change his life so dramatically. He was there now and he belonged to Cas. He kissed him again and again as he moved his body against Dean's, causing her erect cocks to slide against each other in a sensual way. They didn’t have what they needed to have penetrative sex, having not planned it to happen that way. Dean knew, but he didn’t care. They had all the time in the world. Rising slightly, he moved on the bed. Placing himself in the opposite direction over his lover, his lips touched Castiel's cock gently. His tongue swung over its head and brushed the slit, prompting Castiel to utter the most indecent sounds. In the next second, his own dick was involved by soft lips and he was the one moaning.

They devoted themselves with care to the sweet task of giving pleasure to each other. They had been waiting so long and time seemed to have stopped since their first kiss.

Cas wasn’t going to last. He touched Dean's leg, alerting him so he could move away if he wanted to, but that only prompted him to take Cas’ cock even deeper, making him come. Dean rolled over the bed, panting, licking his lips, while Cas stood over him and intensified the caresses to make him come too.

Dean's eyes could not get away from those pink lips around his cock. The sensation was the most perfect he had ever experienced, and he knew that what was behind the physical act made him feel that way. The connection he had with Castiel seemed not from this world, almost belonging to the divine sphere.

His pleasure came in untimely as Castiel's eyes opened and he stared at him, the deep feeling fully exposed on his face and the movements of his body.

Cas watched him in fascination as he felt, for the first time, the spectacular impact sex could have on him. No, he thought: they hadn’t only had sex, they had _made love_ , and it was far better than he had dared to dream.

*****

Castiel crawled on the bed and lay down next to Dean, his head resting on his chest. His lover hugged him and kissed the top of his head, finally being able to do what he had always wanted.

Cas laughed, delighted, realizing that Dean inhaled deeply.

"Christ... I love your scent, Cas. You know... when you left, I did not let Ellen change the sheets for days. I was torturing myself as I smelled you all around me every night, not having you there. More than once... it made me cry. "

"Shh... it's over, we wont’ be apart anymore, Dean, I know. What we lived... no one knows what we've been through. Our history is unique. "

Dean touched Cas' chin and made him look into his eyes.

"Cas, I... I need you so much that it hurts. I can no longer live apart from you. How will we do this?"

"Well, I imagined this conversation in a very different situation..." he said, laughing. "No, I'm not complaining!" He exclaimed when he saw the outraged look on Dean’s handsome face.

"I don’t want to belittle what you've done for me, Dean, but... I think we should sell the apartment in Kansas City. My job... is not quite what I want to do. But there’s no way you could know that. "

"So... you move to my apartment in Dallas... Yes, you’ll move in with me immediately, there is no discussion. We're not sleeping apart anymore. "

Cas tucked him into his arms and rose slightly to leave a delicate kiss on his beautiful lips. He smiled and said:

"I thought a lot and I need to change my way of looking at what happened to me. Was it abuse? Was it illegal? Yes. But there are things in my mind that can be used for positive purposes, so I thought... "

"Don’t tell me you're thinking of opening a strip club?" Dean said, joking, having been totally fixed on that idea since he'd learned of Cas' skills in this area.

"No, Dean. That part... I'm going to leave it exclusively for your enjoyment... "Dean's eyes widened and pleasure was visible on his face.

"I thought we could offer Bobby partnership and expand the workshop. We would set up an area dedicated to the restoration of vintage cars. Your name is very well known in the industry and I could bring the knowledge that I acquired. 'Great connoisseur’, remember? "

"You'll never let me forget, I'm sure..." he said, laughing.

"I imagined a building on the empty lot next to the workshop, with a large window where we could expose the Corvette. It would be the star of our shop, being as special as it is. And before you start complaining... " He said with a serious look "I would never put Baby in a window. She was made to travel the world... Baby has to be free for the trips we will take on weekends. "

Dean had no words. Castiel seemed to have entered his mind and discovered all his most secret dreams.

"What about a 'Winchester Classic Cars' sign, in green letters, 1950's style?"

"You and your plans just turned my dreams into reality, Cas. Just one thing: where's the name Novak on the sign? "

"Well..." he said, embarrassed. "I thought maybe I could also come to sign Winchester... eventually…"

"Castiel Novak... have you just proposed? Just like that? "

"This part I had planned differently, but..."

"Is same-sex marriage legal in Oklahoma?" That was the only answer Dean was allowed, before Cas kissed him with all the enthusiasm he hid for so long.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story was written before 6/26/15, when the Supreme Court recognized the legality of same sex unions in the United States. At the time, they were still banned in 14 states, including Texas.


	27. Chapter 27

Unlike all the other times they slept together, Castiel was the first to wake up. He leaned on one elbow for a long moment, watching Dean sleep. Then he silently took a shower, got dressed, and left the room. He came back with breakfast and some things from the drugstore.

He undressed again and lay down next to Dean. Cas leaned against him, enjoying his warmth, stroking his hair, kissing the back of his neck. Soon he realized that Dean was awake, but he didn’t move, appreciating the gentle touches. Castiel then armed himself with more effective weapons and began tickling the side of his body.

Dean's reaction was to jump away, panting and trying to frown at Cas, but at the look of adoration the other gave him, he could only lie down again and kiss him.

"Good morning, Cas. Hmmm... Would you tell me how your breath is so fresh? "

"Hello, Dean. I already went out, I brought breakfast and a few more things we needed... toothbrushes and toothpaste. "

"Um, I think I'm going to brush my teeth and kiss you again in a moment. Don’t leave! "

"This idea doesn’t cross my mind," he replied, watching, delighted, Dean's beautiful body move to the bathroom. He closed the door and after only a second it opened again with a bang:

"Cas, you're perfect! Lube and condoms! "

He practically threw himself back on the bed, trying to kiss Castiel, who in turn pushed him slightly away:

"There was no time to brush your teeth! Come back when your breath is minty fresh! "

Dean, like a little boy who was scolded, pouted and stood up. Now he moved much faster to the bathroom, coming back from there with a fresh mouth and a hard cock. He didn’t want to waste any time.

He went back to bed and began to kiss and caress Castiel sensually. Cas pushed him away again, making him stop. This time he didn’t pout, just looked at him with his brow furrowed:

"What's the problem now?"

"Our coffee will get cold..." he said, as innocent as he could.

"Cas..." Dean opened his mouth and closed it in disbelief.

"I was joking... Come here... There are some things I want to do to you… " And, laughing soflty, he took Dean's hand and placed it on his own cock, which was ready.

"Cas, we are not kidding about these things," he said, pretending to be annoyed, but his hands were already exploring Castiel's firm body.

*****

When Dean saw the drugstore bag on the bathroom counter, he didn’t expect to find what he wanted most. Not resisting the possibilities that unfolded to him the moment he picked up the two precious items, he returned to the room immediately, only to be sent back.

He brushed his teeth with her right hand, while the other caressed his hardening member, since it was already very excited at the situation.

Cas, revealing a new facet, tried to joke about it. Dean actually appreciated the demonstration, but he was way beyond the point of no return to enjoy it.

Involving Cas' cock with one hand, he kissed him intensely. The other man was receptive and warm, his hands running on every inch of skin they could find. And there was a lot to be touched.

Rolling them on the bed, Cas whispered into Dean's ear, his wet lips brushing temptingly at his ear:

"What do you want, Dean?"

"You, inside me," he murmured, his soft eyes on the face of the man he loved. "Touch me as you wish. I'm all yours, Cas. "

Castiel sighed at the image of his partner and friend saying those things, giving him permission to do whatever he wanted. The turnaround that a few hours had brought into their lives was still a surprise to him.

Taking the lube, he poured a generous amount over his fingers. With one last kiss on Dean's handsome lips, he moved down and devoted himself to pleasure Dean with his mouth as his fingers expertly prepared him.

Dean was a spectacular sight, panting, his face flushed, his mouth uttering sounds that were no longer coherent, expressing his total surrender to the caresses.

Castiel's cock was throbbing in readiness, but he needed to make sure it would be perfect also for Dean. He took his time, lovingly and determinedly, making his fingers slide in and out of the body that fascinated him.

Before Cas could finish what he was doing, Dean was already writhing in bed, begging for more. He took one of the condoms and opened the package, unrolling it over his lover's cock.

Dean tried to turn on his belly, but Castiel's hand on his shoulder stopped him:

"No, I want to look at you."

The smile he received back told him he was on the right path. Both had little experience in relationships where affection and commitment were an indispensable part, so they were gradually learning together.

Castiel lifted Dean's hips and brought the head of his cock closer to the entrance, touching it lightly, causing an involuntary movement in his partner. It was Castiel's turn to smile, realizing how much Dean needed him.

He advanced carefully, concern evident in every gesture. When Dean moved sharply against him, he realized that it wasn’t necessary. Dean was more than ready.

Castiel started to move, but Dean wanted more, and his movements set a strong rhythm. He was completely undone, his hair damp, his skin covered in a thin layer of sweat. The most striking thing to Castiel were Dean’s parted lips, from which escaped filthy, exciting sounds.

He kissed him passionately, silencing him for a moment, causing Dean to suddenly contract around him. That reaction made Cas intensify his thrusts, Dean stammering finally amid the burst of pleasure:

"I love you!"

Castiel, exposed to this wonderful declaration and perfect physical contact, could no longer resist and reached the climax, expressing his contentment in words uttered between groans:

"Dean... I love you too!”

*****

After their passionate moments together, the two of them recomposed themselves, sat down to have breakfast, coffee barely warm at that point, and discussed an immediate plan of action.

It was necessary to call Sam and Bobby, since neither of them had been informed in advance of Dean’s trip to Kansas.

Sam expressed his delight at their relationship, stating strongly that he already knew this was bound to happen one day, as long as the brother opened his eyes and assumed his feelings. As it was true, Dean didn’t reply, but he also didn’t stop calling him a 'bitch', in the affectionate way he always did.

Bobby, at first, had reacted angrily, out of concern for Dean's absence at work and at home. The fact that his phone had been disconnected since they had arrived at the hotel - they didn’t want any interruptions - ended up leaving the old man ready to explode.  When he finally calmed down, he reluctantly congratulated them, calling them 'idjits'. Castiel laughed, thinking he was about to be accepted into a family where cursing was a way of expressing affection. And he felt completely comfortable with it.

*****

Dean had joked about same-sex marriage in Oklahoma, but if they were going to do it someday, it couldn’t be in Texas. The conservative state hasn’t yet legalized this type of union.

However, this was secondary now. They wanted to stay close, learn to live together, sleeping and waking up in the same bed, discovering what they enjoyed, building a life together.

The two agreed that they should return to Kansas and set in motion the plan to sell Cas' apartment, hand over his resignation and prepare for the move. There were not many personal items to take to Texas. Castiel knew it would be very different from then on.

Bobby had given Dean a few days off. Sam had told him it was their ‘honeymoon’, and he couldn' be more right. At all the free moments they were always together, touching, kissing until they were out of breath. Every room in Cas' apartment has been stage to ardent encounters, and when they finally said goodbye to that place, they knew it would remain in their memory.

Together in the Corvette, their small luggage in the trunk, they made the trip back, stopping to eat at roadside restaurants, checking into simple hotels whenever the urge to express physical desire was too pressing.

The eight hours ended up being three days, since they couldn’t get their hands off each other. Sex that was born of love was something new to both of them and they couldn’t have enough.

When they finally arrived in Dallas on Sunday, happy and satisfied, they shut themselves out at home, going out only to buy groceries, which Dean turned into a delicious meal for both of them.

At the end of the day, as they entered the Roadhouse hand in hand, they were greeted affectionately by Ellen and her daughter. Sam, Jessica and Bobby were there too, waiting for them. Their union pleased everyone. Castiel became part of the family.

*****

Monday marked Dean's return to work. Castiel had wanted to accompany him, so they could propose the partnership they had in mind to Bobby, but Dean preferred to go alone to talk first to his boss. He knew the good nature of the old mechanic, but he knew the coarse exterior could scare people. Dean wanted to explain everything to him calmly, knowing it would be a complicated meeting.

"You mean your boyfriend is a mechanic? And a specialized one? I'll put his knowledge to the test, you know that. And I guess I could give a job, but... "

"Bobby, I was somehow responsible for what he knows. I guarantee you he is an expert. And that job would only be temporary. "

"May I know what you two are planning?"

"Well... Castiel has an idea... A workshop for restoration of classic cars..."

"Ambitious dream, uh? For two broke guys like you... "

"We weren’t thinking of starting from scratch... With the money from the apartment sale in Kansas City..." now that the time had come, he hesitated.

"Yes? With the money from the sale... "

"We could be partners, Bobby. We would enlarge the workshop, building on the vacant lot next door and... "

"Are you sure he can handle the job?"

"I assure you he can. He's the best I've ever met. "

"I hope you're talking about mechanics..." Bobby muttered, his forefinger poking a purplish mark on Dean's neck.

Blushing deeply, Dean wanted to respond, but he didn’t know what to say.

Before he could do so, the arms of the rude mechanic were around him. A strong hug that showed how much he loved the young man who was like a son.

Dean could not help the tears forming in his eyes as he returned the gesture of affection.

"Bring the other idjit here tomorrow and we'll talk. Now, return to work, you're way behind. Having your honeymoon during one of the busiest months wasn’t your brightest idea... "

"You know what, Bobby... I have to disagree. It was the best idea of all... "And smiling, he left the office.

The old man in a worn baseball cap smiled as he shook his head.

*****

Lying on the sofa in the living room, pieces of clothing scattered all around, intertwined bodies, they breathed rapidly, their hearts slowly returning to a normal pace.

"Mmm, Dean... that was very good."

"I thought about it all day at work... I couldn’t wait to get home."

Cas lifted a little and left a light kiss on Dean's smiling lips. He also had been thinking about it all day.

"I love you," he said with a soft look.

"Me too, Cas, I've never loved anyone like this."

They spent a few more minutes enjoying the warmth of each other, in silence, before Cas asked,

"How did Bobby respond to our proposal?"

"He said he's going to test your mechanical skills... and he wants to talk to you tomorrow. He called you an idjit, so I think it'll be all right. "

Dean felt the smile on his chest and his hand ran over his lover's sweaty hair.

"He knows we can do this, Cas."

"I'm sure we can do that," he said confidently. He got up slowly from the couch and when Dean started complaining, he lowered himself and whispered something in his ear.

Smiling, he accepted Castiel's hand. A shower together, with the promise of more caresses under hot water wasn’t something Dean could pass.


	28. Epilog

The sale of the apartment took a few months and during that time Castiel worked at Bobby’s workshop. Bobby had to agree that he was one of the best mechanics he had ever met. Dean couldn’t be prouder.

Now that they had the money, it was time to plan what to do. They met with Sam and set the legal foundations of the partnership.

Construction started quickly and Dean, since the foundation was laid, could see in his mind the window where they would show Cas’ yellow sports car and the sign as he had described. Their dream was almost a reality.

One afternoon, during a coffee break, he walked to the construction area. He stood there and watched, wondering where the tools would be, where the painting area would be... He felt a pair of hands wrap around his waist, a firm body leaning against his back.

"Daydreaming, Mr. Winchester?" Cas whispered in his ear, which made him shiver.

"Now I'm dreaming of something else, Mr. Novak, my worthy partner. Would you like me to report to you?"

"There is no question that a full report of your plans is imperative at this time."

Turning inside the strong arms, he placed his own around Cas’ neck and spoke softly:

"When the workshop is ready, before the opening, I plan to lay you in the backseat of the Corvette and make love to you. I want to feel your legs wrap around my waist as my cock enters you hard and fast. I want to hear you moan, beg for more, until you scream in pleasure. "

"I hope our other partner and the employees are gone by then..."

"Cas!" Dean said, snorting his frustration. Castiel was an expert at provoking Dean by giving him the most awkward answers.

"So... I accept your proposal. I want you to love me, hard and fast, in the backseat of the Corvette." A frown replaced the smile for a second and he continued in a serious tone: "Will the car be in the window? I think we’d better leave the lights off, then... "

Dean could only close his eyes, touching Cas' forehead with his own. He was trying to be seductive and Cas always pretended to took him seriously. He laughed, then, realizing that this was how it worked between them. That was the dynamics of their relationship. They were companions, lovers, business partners, friends. They slept, they ate, they worked, they laughed together. It wasn’t perfect, since they were humans, but that was so much more than Dean had believed he could find in his life.

Bobby, missing the two of them, came in looking. As he entered the room, he cleared his throat audibly:

"Would you two stop making out for just a moment? There is work to be done! "

Reluctantly they left each other's arms, sealing with a soft kiss the agreement they had reached moments earlier.

*****

The opening was on a Saturday morning. Dean had kept his promise and their private party the night before, after everyone had left, had been unforgettable. All of the planned and a few more spontaneous activities had taken place inside the Corvette and other areas of the new workshop.

They had already announced the opening of the specialized workshop online and two clients had confirmed their interest. They knew it would took time for them to be known, despite Dean's name on the sign.

To their surprise, Gabrielle de Angeli had come to the simple celebration. He shook Cas' hand, introducing himself. He had heard of the workshop and had come to offer them a job. He had found three cars in the United States and needed them to be restored before the trip to Italy. He'd gotten most of Dean's collection, so he knew about Castiel's work.

When all the strangers had left the place, Dean, Cas, Bobby and Sam (who had been hiding in the office during Gabrielle's visit) made a toast, celebrating the auspicious beginning.

Dean kissed Cas at length, thanking him for the fulfillment of his deepest dreams, which caused complaints from the other two.

Breaking apart, they smiled at each other. Bobby and Sam looked at each other too. Despite being embarrassed by the constant public displays of affection between Dean and Cas, they knew how to recognize a happy couple when they saw one.

*****

After two years of hard work, during which they made their name with the collectors, the workshop began to turn a profit.

Dean started looking for a bigger apartment for the two of them now that they could pay for it. Not that he was thinking of talking to Cas about adoption... Well, not before proposing to him.

The initial proposal was made by Cas on that day when they had finally got together. But Dean was a romantic and planned something special for the near future.

But at the moment, he had another idea in mind. Something that had been bothering him for some time. He could hardly wait!

*****

Finding an apartment wasn’t so difficult after all. Dean had insisted on a modern kitchen and a large bedroom. Cas wanted three berdrooms, and his companion wondered if he had thought of adopting a child. They needed to talk about it.

They moved in as soon as possible, and this time Castiel's luggage included many personal items, among them countless photos and mementos of the moments spent with Dean and his new family.

Sam helped them carry the furniture and boxes up. They were at work all morning when Dean pulled Cas, who carried a box full of trinkets, by the hand toward their bedroom.

He took the box out of his hands and placed it on the floor. He opened the door, pushing his companion in first, and turned on the light. In one corner, away from the furniture and walls, was a metal pole attached to the floor and ceiling. Dean had found it online and he also researched the space needed for a dancer to move around it safely.

Castiel opened his mouth in surprise, then began to laugh. He barely remembered that he'd promised Dean that. The other man had not forgotten, though.

Dean was already hugging him from behind and placing his chin on the lover's shoulder asked in his most seductive voice:

"Do you think I could get a demonstration later?"

Before Castiel could respond, Sam came in carrying two huge boxes.

"Those are the last ones, phew!" He said, putting them on the floor noisily. Then he realized what the two were looking at. He blushed, stammered some excuse, and left, slamming the front door on his way out.

Dean went into the living room, looked out the window and saw Sam get into his car and leave.

He returned to the room laughing and found Castiel sitting on the bed, his hands clasped between his knees, his eyes fixed on the floor.

"Cas, babe... what's wrong?" Dean said, kneeling in front of him.

Cas lifted his head and was smiling.

"Dean, I... I was thinking that... I've never been so happy. You are responsible for this. I love you so much."

Relieved, for he had thought for a moment that it had brought bad memories to Castiel, Dean hugged him. He wrapped his arms around Cas tightly. He kissed his partner slow and tenderly, wanting to show in gestures how he felt.

After the kiss, they pressed their foreheads together and were silent for a few moments.

Dean got up and pulled him up by the hand.

Castiel, however, let go and beginning to unbutton his shirt, said:

"I believe you asked me for a demonstration..."

Dean stood there in disbelief.

"Now? But you... don’t you have to practice a little first? "

"It's just technique, Dean. And I remember well how to do it. "

Dean smiled and watched mesmerized as Castiel began to open his belt.

Suddenly he stopped. He looked at Dean, desolate:

"Dean... I realize now... something is missing... I think we're going to have to cancel the demonstration for now..."

A certain part of Dean's body had already begun to react to Cas' imminent show, and he asked in disappointment,

"But... what could be missing, Cas? I looked for professional equipment and... "

"No, Dean. What is missing is not exactly equipment... "he said, closing back his belt.

Dean followed the movements of Cas' hands that had interrupted the slow striptease and said in exasperation,

"What is missing, then?"

"The essential: a micro thong covered in sequins. It was my standard outfit when I did it! "

Dean closed his eyes, exhaled slowly and after a few moments of silence, launched himself toward Cas, knocking him onto the bed, falling on him, laughing.

"Castiel, I understand the need for the sequined thong. I agree that the pole dance demonstration should be postponed until you have what is necessary. " His cock demonstrated with a small spasm how the idea pleased him. "In the meantime... You can’t leave this room until you give me any other demonstration... And I want it long, elaborate, and it should make me feel good."

"Um, I think I can do this... Maybe I..." And whispered in Dean's ear a few words that made him widen his eyes.

"You... can you do that too?"

"Yes, Dean, since I was very young... I have many talents. Let me? "

Dean nodded.

Castiel got up, and began to rummage in a large box in a corner of the room. He took the guitar that belonged to Dean's mother and sat next to the man still lying down.

His fingers flexed, then ran over the strings, testing the tuning.

Finally, with one last look in the direction of the freckled face that watched him expectantly, he began to strum the instrument and in his deep voice sang:

_"There's a lady who's sure all that glitters is gold... And she's buying a stairway to heaven..." *_

A silent tear ran down Dean's face. Castiel was amazing. And Dean belonged to him. Body and soul.

Rising slightly, he leaned on one elbow, his voice joining with the other, and together they sang, in perfect harmony, the song that had rocked Dean’s dreams for all his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * "Stairway To Heaven"  
> (Led Zeppelin)
> 
> There's a lady who's sure all that glitters is gold  
> And she's buying a stairway to heaven.  
> When she gets there she knows, if the stores are all closed  
> With a word she can get what she came for.  
> Ooh, ooh, and she's buying a stairway to heaven.
> 
> There's a sign on the wall but she wants to be sure  
> 'Cause you know sometimes words have two meanings.  
> In a tree by the brook, there's a songbird who sings,  
> Sometimes all of our thoughts are misgiven.
> 
> Ooh, it makes me wonder,  
> Ooh, it makes me wonder.
> 
> There's a feeling I get when I look to the west,  
> And my spirit is crying for leaving.  
> In my thoughts I have seen rings of smoke through the trees,  
> And the voices of those who stand looking.
> 
> Ooh, it makes me wonder,  
> Ooh, it really makes me wonder.
> 
> And it's whispered that soon, if we all call the tune,  
> Then the piper will lead us to reason.  
> And a new day will dawn for those who stand long,  
> And the forests will echo with laughter.
> 
> If there's a bustle in your hedgerow, don't be alarmed now,  
> It's just a spring clean for the May queen.  
> Yes, there are two paths you can go by, but in the long run  
> There's still time to change the road you're on.  
> And it makes me wonder.
> 
> Your head is humming and it won't go, in case you don't know,  
> The piper's calling you to join him,  
> Dear lady, can you hear the wind blow, and did you know  
> Your stairway lies on the whispering wind?
> 
> And as we wind on down the road  
> Our shadows taller than our soul.  
> There walks a lady we all know  
> Who shines white light and wants to show  
> How everything still turns to gold.  
> And if you listen very hard  
> The tune will come to you at last.  
> When all are one and one is all  
> To be a rock and not to roll.
> 
> And she's buying a stairway to heaven.


End file.
